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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #work #organisation #life #organisations
Most people
work
 for
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 company's in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 lifetime , while others prefer to switch firms. I recommend that employees should change their organization and may follow the same profession .
This
 is because to avoid lethargic
work
 life and enjoy greater benefits in their professional life. On one hand , most workers consider monetary and
non- financial
Correct your spelling
non-financial
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 benefits ,they retrieve for working in long durations of years under
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 enterprise . To elaborate , higher pensions and salary savings with benefits
such
 as insurance , medical bill
claim
Fix the agreement mistake
claims
show examples
 will be rewarded for senior
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 in the institution.
Also
 , they may be promoted
for
Change preposition
to
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serious
Add an article
the serious
a serious
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 and trustworthy
position
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positions
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, referring to their loyalty.
Finally
 .
staffs
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Staff
show examples
 stationed under
same
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the same
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 office will feel convenient about the atmosphere with
well known
Add a hyphen
well-known
show examples
 peers. So , they have a psychological bond
between
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the labour force , which will keep their idea of an organization change at arm's length.
On the other hand
 , few
staffs
 understand that
,
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apply
show examples
major
Add an article
a major
the major
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 part of their life is spent in
workplace
Add an article
the workplace
show examples
 .
Hence
 ,dealing with
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 and
monotonous
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the monotonous
show examples
process
Fix the agreement mistake
processes
show examples
 will be boring .So , they prefer to switch organizations frequently .
In addition
 to that , white-collar workers , who tend to replace offices , tend to have enhanced learning
experience
Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
show examples
 along with exploring wider career opportunities around the globe.
As a result
 , they adapt to agile
work
 culture and dynamic environment changes . Eventually , these types of workers end up in better leadership positions with high income than
staffs
Fix the agreement mistake
staff
show examples
 who are staying in the same company. Conclusively , each above options have their own pros and cons.
However
 , in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 an employee should change their
organizations
Fix the agreement mistake
organization
show examples
, at
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
lease
Correct your spelling
least
show examples
couple
Correct article usage
a couple
show examples
 of times in their tenure.
Consequently
 ,
this
 will lead them to explore
wider
Correct article usage
a wider
show examples
 horizon of career progress along with versatile
work
 exposure to become an effective employee.
Submitted by elmorajamani on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Longevity
  • Corporate ladder
  • Adaptability
  • Comfort zone
  • Professional network
  • Diverse skill set
  • Industry exposure
  • Innovation
  • Resilience
  • Seniority
  • Job market
  • Career trajectory
  • Company culture
  • Professional growth
  • Job security
  • Promotion prospects
  • Cross-functional experience
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