some people believe that children’s leisure activities must be educational, otherwise they are a complete waste of time. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your experience.

parents must bring up their
children
perfectly. some people think that
children
's free
time
performances must be for learning purposes despite the fact that those are full of waste of
time
. I totally disagree with
this
statement because leisure
activities
prove
children
healthy and good communicators.
firstly
, kids are the best members of the country for the future. enabling them to invent every part of life make intelligent. spare
time
activities
boost their performances. it must be elaborated leisure
time
activities
such
as indoor games, outdoor games, handcrafting and etc. if they doing
such
this
it is the way for increase the immunization so that, the chances to expose a disease is protected and less very common.
for instance
, nowadays non-communicable diseases are
Add an article
a
show examples
common
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
among the
children
such
as obesity, diabetes, heart problems. to get rid of these problems parents enable enough
time
for their kids for doing some
activities
.
secondly
,doing extra
time
activities
with their friends is the better way of interpersonal communication.
for instance
,many kids are introverts provided that some
children
are not allowed to
out
Add a missing verb
be out
show examples
of the home at any
time
. in
this
case, they do not aware of the environment. so, leisure
activities
are very important for
children
to make a good
communicator
Fix the agreement mistake
communicators
show examples
. in conclusion,
children
must be allowed for spare-
time
activities
for forwarded their intelligence to reach
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
best future lifestyle. it is not only for the learning object but
also
is their health .
Submitted by sasihary90 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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