Some people think that every nation should concentrate on agriculture to develop. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
It is said that
countries
Use synonyms
should focus on
agriculture
Use synonyms
to grow. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
opinion because nations still can develop if they invest in other areas like technologies, industries and t
Fix the agreement mistake
tourism
show examples
ourisms.
Correct your spelling
tourism
show examples
There are several benefits when governments concentrate on
agriculture
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, developing
agriculture
Use synonyms
will improve the farmer’s quality of living.
This
Linking Words
is particularly the case for agricultural
countries
Use synonyms
which apply modern technologies and machines to p
rocess
Add an article
the process
show examples
of producing
agriculture
Use synonyms
in order to increase yields and quality of products.
This
Linking Words
leads to farmers earning more income to pay for the cost of living.
Secondly
Linking Words
, concentrating on agricultural development will enhance national stance internationally.
This
Linking Words
is because agricultural products will be exported and be allowed to strict markets like Europe, America if the governments invest in organic farming to produce agricultural products which meet high-standard.
However
Linking Words
, in my view, governments should not solely focus on
agriculture
Use synonyms
to grow. Primarily, national revenue will not s
table.
Add a missing verb
be stable
show examples
This
Linking Words
is largely detrimental, particularly for
countries
Use synonyms
w
hich
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
depend crucially on
agriculture
Use synonyms
because changing c
limate
Change the noun form
climates
show examples
such
Linking Words
as floods, prolonged droughts and diseases will destroy millions of tons of valuable crops.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, t
he a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
gricultural development will greatly aggravate the climate crisis.
This
Linking Words
links to an increase C
O2
Change preposition
in CO2
show examples
emissions in the atmosphere when f
amers
Correct your spelling
farmers
clear new forest land to expand their farms by logging and firing forests.
For example
Linking Words
, according to a survey by Vietnam express newspaper, in Vietnam, in 2019, an increase 1
0%
Change preposition
of 10
show examples
t
he
Change preposition
in the
show examples
amount of CO2 emission in Vietnam was recorded in 2018, in which logging activities to plant accounted for 4% in the figure. To conclude,
although
Linking Words
agriculture
Use synonyms
p
lay
Change the verb form
plays
show examples
an i
mportance
Replace the word
important
show examples
role in d
evelopment
Add an article
the development
show examples
of every n
ations,
Change to a singular noun
nation
show examples
I believe that
countries
Use synonyms
should concentrate on other areas to develop.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: