In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this must be the cases? Do you think this is the positive or negative situation?

Nowadays, the tendency of owning a

house

Use synonyms

becomes more popular in some countries.

People

Use synonyms

believe that it is more important to have their own

house

Use synonyms

than renting one.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

essay will show you the supporting reasons why

this

Linking Words

trend becomes popular and the effects of

this

Linking Words

revolution. There are several reasons why

people

Use synonyms

tend to have their own

house

Use synonyms

instead

Linking Words

of renting.

First

Linking Words

of all, the rental price

is dramatically risen

Change to the active voice

dramatically rises

has dramatically risen

show examples

while the price of the

house

Use synonyms

is steady. To illustrate, in Thailand, the monthly condominium rental price is twice higher than in the

last

Linking Words

three years.

As a result

Linking Words

, by calculating, allocating that huge amount of

money

Use synonyms

for twenty months, it is possible for buying a new residential property.

Secondly

Linking Words

, when you completely buy something, the ownership belongs to you forever.

This

Linking Words

means that the property which you bought for yourself can be a heritage for your descendants.

Therefore

Linking Words

, some

people

Use synonyms

believe that it is

precious

Add an article

a precious

show examples

opportunity for investment.

Last

Linking Words

but not least, in the world of competition,

people

Use synonyms

always judge the other by the An upward trend in owning the

house

Use synonyms

becomes more

benefits

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

to the society especially in terms of economy. When

people

Use synonyms

start purchasing, it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

the

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

system runs smoothly.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

Use synonyms

who determine themselves to have their own

house

Use synonyms

have to be more diligent in order to make enough

money

Use synonyms

to afford their expectations.

This

Linking Words

means that they will spend

money

Use synonyms

more carefully and wisely compared to the ones who do not think of owning a

house

Use synonyms

For example

Linking Words

, they have to plan about how to use

money

Use synonyms

seriously and think twice before splurging

money

Use synonyms

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unnecessary things.

However

Linking Words

, owning

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house

Use synonyms

can lead to some drawbacks. The obvious one is

people

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who cannot manage their

money

Use synonyms

well are going to face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a huge financial problem. In conclusion, due to the expensive amount of rental

money

Use synonyms

and the aspect of forever ownership,

people

Use synonyms

in some countries value the importance of owning their own

house

Use synonyms

which leads to both positive and negative situations.

Varaiphand

Nov 15, 2021

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

341 words

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