In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this must be the cases? Do you think this is the positive or negative situation?

#countries #home #people #cases #situation

Nowadays, the tendency of owning a

house

becomes more popular in some countries.

People

believe that it is more important to have their own

house

than renting one.

Change preposition

This

show examples

this

essay will show you the supporting reasons why

this

trend becomes popular and the effects of

this

revolution. There are several reasons why

people

tend to have their own

house

instead

of renting.

First

of all, the rental price

is dramatically risen

Change to the active voice

dramatically rises

has dramatically risen

show examples

while the price of the

house

is steady. To illustrate, in Thailand, the monthly condominium rental price is twice higher than in the

last

three years.

As a result

, by calculating, allocating that huge amount of

money

for twenty months, it is possible for buying a new residential property.

Secondly

, when you completely buy something, the ownership belongs to you forever.

This

means that the property which you bought for yourself can be a heritage for your descendants.

Therefore

, some

people

believe that it is

precious

Add an article

a precious

show examples

opportunity for investment.

Last

but not least, in the world of competition,

people

always judge the other by the An upward trend in owning the

house

becomes more

benefits

Replace the word

beneficial

show examples

to the society especially in terms of economy. When

people

start purchasing, it

help

Change the verb form

helps

show examples

the

economy

Replace the word

economic

show examples

system runs smoothly.

Moreover

people

who determine themselves to have their own

house

have to be more diligent in order to make enough

money

to afford their expectations.

This

means that they will spend

money

more carefully and wisely compared to the ones who do not think of owning a

house

For example

, they have to plan about how to use

money

seriously and think twice before splurging

money

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unnecessary things.

However

, owning

the

Correct article usage

show examples

house

can lead to some drawbacks. The obvious one is

people

who cannot manage their

money

well are going to face

with

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a huge financial problem. In conclusion, due to the expensive amount of rental

money

and the aspect of forever ownership,

people

in some countries value the importance of owning their own

house

which leads to both positive and negative situations.

Submitted by Varaiphand on Mon Nov 15 2021

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

341 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might this must be the cases? Do you think this is the positive or negative situation?

Your opinion

Some schools start teaching a foreign language in primary school years. Do the advantages of teaching foreign languages to young children outweigh its disadvantages?

The rise of social media has affected personal relationships and society as a whole. Do the advantages of using social media for communication outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking not only harm the smoker, but also those who are nearby. Therefore, smoking should be banned in public places. Discuss both views and give your opinions

Human activities have negative effects on plant and animal species. Some people think it is too late to do anything about this problem. Others believe that effective measures can be taken to improve this situation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.