It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#schoolchildren #history #world

Nowadays,

history

has become an essential subject for schoolchildren.

While

I contend that local

history

is important

but

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

I disagree that

world

history

should not be overlooked because of its certain benefits. On the one hand, studying local

history

pays dividends for the growth of children. Honestly, they have a great chance to acknowledge the

history

of their area and the country where they are living. From that, they pay homage to former soldiers and ancestors who had sacrificed their lives for the freedom and independence of the country.

In addition

, children can learn the origin and cultures which remind

about

Correct pronoun usage

them about

show examples

their roots and they can contribute to an all-round education.

Moreover

, local

history

has been included in the curriculum of all school levels

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is a main subject for students. Needless to say, local

history

plays a vital role in the education system.

On the other hand

, we

also

should not neglect

world

history

because of certain benefits.

World

history

gives us an overview of the

world

background and the development of other countries or even a continent. It would be essential if children pay attention to

world

history

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

means they assimilate into the global community.

In addition

world

history

delivers meaningful lessons from the previous generations. From

this

perspective, young generations would grasp the

history

lessons, avoid mistakes and contribute to the community being better peacefully.

For example

, schoolchildren can understand the devastating

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

world war

Correct your spelling

World War

show examples

II,

then

they know the main reasons and contribute to society or spread the peace lesson among people. In short, local

history

is important but

world

history

also

is great to study because both kinds of these histories have played a vital role in terms of education perspectives.

Submitted by trieutu0812 on Mon Nov 15 2021

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

288 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

heritage
cultural identity
ancestry
traditions
globalization
empathy
contemporary issues
integrate
perspective
civilization
diversity
innovations
historical significance
nationalism
cosmopolitanism
historiography
geopolitical

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It is more important for schoolchildren to learn about local history than world history. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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