IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that zoos are cruel and should be closed down. Others, however, believe that zoos can be useful in protecting wild animals. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #zoos #animals
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Nowadays, a lot of environmentalists are discussing
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 of keeping wild animals in captivity and most of them are definitely against
such
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 actions.
However
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, some people believe that zoos are entertaining and useful as well. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. To start with, research has found that keeping endangered species in wildlife parks causes changes in animals’ behaviour, especially
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 influences on physical and mental health.
For instance
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, according to British experts chimps kept in cages are more likely to become mentally compromised, they get into the habit
hair
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of hair
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 plucking, self-biting and even self-hitting.
In addition
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, they added some facts about captive elephants, which typically die younger than mammals in the wild.
On the other hand
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, some benefits of zoological parks still exist. The main role of a modern zoo is not only making entertainment but
also
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 improving knowledge about nature and even protecting representatives of the fauna from pollution, poaching or climate warming.
Furthermore
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, in recent years, menageries have been playing a great role in breeding processes. Breeding programmes are called EEPs and are
widely-spread
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widely spread
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 around the whole world.
Such
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 projects are crucial to maintain genetically healthy populations and to increase the number of species
which
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that
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 are at risk of extinction. Taking everything into consideration, zoos are cruel to animals, cause they aren’t similar enough to their natural habitat, but in my opinion, they shouldn’t be closed down as the pluses overweigh the minuses.
Submitted by olechkakwitka on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • animal welfare
  • conservation
  • captive breeding
  • habitat
  • ethical issues
  • zoochosis
  • endangered species
  • genetic diversity
  • reintroduction programs
  • wildlife education
  • sanctuary
  • natural living conditions
  • artificial environments
  • behavioral enrichment
  • ecosystem
What to do next:
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