Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

There has been an argumentative statement heating a debate over government funding. While some
people
argue that the authorities should make the
care
of the elderly generation a priority, others hold a strong view that they should use public funds for education for young
people
. Personally, I partially agree with the aforementioned idea and I believe that both aspects of society deserve an equal amount of attention and funding. Without a shadow of a doubt, it is essential for the government to provide a certain level of
care
for the elderly. To be specific, these
people
have spent their whole life
to build
Change the verb form
building
show examples
the country and its economy to make it a better place for those who come after them and
therefore
, their well-being should not be compromised.
Moreover
, it is hard and strenuous for older
people
to take
care
of their own health.
For instance
, an old person with a wheelchair cannot be able to drive
themselves
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
to the hospital, especially in an emergency case.
Hence
, an ambulance should be provided by the healthcare authorities for
this
. It is irrefutable to note that without governors’ attention as well as funding, the life expectancy of the elderly would definitely decline. While the paramount significance of taking
care
of the senior generation is widely acknowledged, it’s
also
essential for governors to invest in the education field. Improving the educational system can provide the youngsters
a
Add the preposition
with a
show examples
firm grasp of knowledge, which can help to provide a qualified workforce to the company and boost the country’s economic situation.
Hence
, it’s worthy for the government to provide more scholarships as well as
adopting
Wrong verb form
adopt
show examples
more cutting edge technology to enhance productivity levels. In conclusion,
although
investment in elderly
care
is necessary, I strongly believe that without focusing on teenagers’ education and schooling, the nation’s financial state cannot grow.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: