In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In
this
modern day, the rate of unemployment has significantly increased. Some people say that high
education
is not essential for kids because it can'
t
help them apply for jobs. In my perspective,
education
has a huge impact on the future; even so, a certificate can'
t
guarantee after graduating can have a jo that every pupil, but experience and connections can help them.
To begin
with, some individuals don'
t
have the motivation to study with higher
education
because it can'
t
guarantee that they will apply for work in the future and it is not worth tuition fees;
however
, limiting
education
to the primary school level could perpetuate a cycle of poverty and unemployment, by entrepreneurship,
thus
creating jobs rather than seeking them. Several histories of successful people who have not finished higher
education
,
for instance
, Steve Jobs founder of Apple, or Coco Chanel first owner of high-end fashion, make some people hope to be like them.
Conversely
, in the part is not have high competition marketing like today in present have more conditions than in the past,
for example
, in fashion customers today are concerned about fast fashion that affects the environment so, it the biggest question that how to design a dress that in trend, unique and eco-friendly in the same time.
On the other hand
, the greatest companies need employees who graduated with a high
education
in a minimum degree from a university to improve their office; in fact, high school or university will foster students based on skills
likewise
critical thinking, solving problems, and responsibility that can make sure that every employment can develop the companies to the greater than present. Not only skills but
also
, a connection that can be found in university so it may be beneficial in the future.
To sum up
, even a high school certificate may not help you apply for your dream job but actually impacts the decision of whether or not any company will select you.
Submitted by np.napatping on

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coherence
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introduction conclusion
Provide a clear introduction that outlines your position, and ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
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Support your arguments with more specific examples or data to strengthen your position and make the essay more convincing.
clear ideas
Clarify your main points and ensure each argument is fully developed. Avoid overloading paragraphs with too many ideas at once.
task response
Expand on certain points and provide a detailed explanation for each argument to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay includes references to well-known figures (Steve Jobs, Coco Chanel) as examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
An attempt is made to discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

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    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • social equality
  • self-employment
  • entrepreneurship
  • cycle of poverty
  • vocational training
  • job market needs
  • specialized fields
  • modern economies
  • innovation
  • diverse and dynamic economy
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