In countries where there is a high rate of unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who have no hope of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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In
this
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modern day, the rate of unemployment has significantly increased. Some people say that high
education
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is not essential for kids because it can'
t
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help them apply for jobs. In my perspective,
education
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has a huge impact on the future; even so, a certificate can'
t
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guarantee after graduating can have a jo that every pupil, but experience and connections can help them.
To begin
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with, some individuals don'
t
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have the motivation to study with higher
education
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because it can'
t
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guarantee that they will apply for work in the future and it is not worth tuition fees;
however
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, limiting
education
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to the primary school level could perpetuate a cycle of poverty and unemployment, by entrepreneurship,
thus
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creating jobs rather than seeking them. Several histories of successful people who have not finished higher
education
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,
for instance
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, Steve Jobs founder of Apple, or Coco Chanel first owner of high-end fashion, make some people hope to be like them.
Conversely
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, in the part is not have high competition marketing like today in present have more conditions than in the past,
for example
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, in fashion customers today are concerned about fast fashion that affects the environment so, it the biggest question that how to design a dress that in trend, unique and eco-friendly in the same time.
On the other hand
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, the greatest companies need employees who graduated with a high
education
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in a minimum degree from a university to improve their office; in fact, high school or university will foster students based on skills
likewise
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critical thinking, solving problems, and responsibility that can make sure that every employment can develop the companies to the greater than present. Not only skills but
also
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, a connection that can be found in university so it may be beneficial in the future.
To sum up
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, even a high school certificate may not help you apply for your dream job but actually impacts the decision of whether or not any company will select you.
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coherence
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Provide a clear introduction that outlines your position, and ensure your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
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Support your arguments with more specific examples or data to strengthen your position and make the essay more convincing.
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Clarify your main points and ensure each argument is fully developed. Avoid overloading paragraphs with too many ideas at once.
task response
Expand on certain points and provide a detailed explanation for each argument to fully meet the task requirements.
task achievement
The essay includes references to well-known figures (Steve Jobs, Coco Chanel) as examples to support the arguments.
coherence cohesion
An attempt is made to discuss both sides of the argument, providing a balanced view.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • universal access
  • knowledgeable workforce
  • economic growth
  • critical thinking
  • social equality
  • self-employment
  • entrepreneurship
  • cycle of poverty
  • vocational training
  • job market needs
  • specialized fields
  • modern economies
  • innovation
  • diverse and dynamic economy
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