Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#teenagers #prison #adults #matter #crime

Young

people

should be separated from older humans in jill regardless of their dangerous habits. In my point of view strongly agree with

this

statement.The reason why I agree with

Correct pronoun usage

this is

show examples

that teenagers can learn a bad manner from others and may contribute to a higher risk for them,

also

every age group has a different mindset so they cannot understand each other. On one way , political rules play a fondemantel role in decreasing the effects of the problems .That is why the police

design

Wrong verb form

designed

show examples

a specific place for killers under 18. In

this

place , many things happen which is suitable for their age.

Also

, when we join the oldest

people

with the teenagers

this

may sour the crime because the

adult

Fix the agreement mistake

adults

show examples

may

by teaching

Wrong verb form

teach

show examples

them violence in the future.

For example

, my friend did not reach 20 years old and one day he

has

Wrong verb form

had

show examples

an accident in a car and

when

Rephrase

apply

show examples

the police put them in the jill because he

does

Wrong verb form

did

show examples

not have a

driving

Change noun form

driver's

show examples

license. The policemen put him in a separate building far away from the older human.

However

, in each stage of our ,life we share special thoughts which

Change the verb form

are

show examples

appropriate for our levels. So it is difficult to communicate with experienced

people

who lived before us unless we live with them.

Thus

, the authorities of our country decide on having two places in prisons for

people

under18

Correct your spelling

under 18

and up to 70. To illustrate that some teenagers have a simple crime so when they attach a strong reaction from the older one they may learn a much more from their bad behaviour. In conclusion, prison should separate

people

according to

their age and not care about the risks of their behaviours. I truly agree with

this

idea because it will rocket the

risky

Replace the word

risk

show examples

and it will enhance the youngest

people

to show unrespected manner to others.

Submitted by alghafryhna on Mon Nov 15 2021

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task response

Ensure that your response directly addresses the task given. Support your views with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay lacks overall coherence. Make sure to organize your ideas logically and use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to connect your ideas.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

313 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

It is important for travellers and business people to understand the cultures they come into contact with, however briefly. What are the main advantages of doing so? What do you think is the main disadvantage of doing so?

It is a natural process for animal species to become extinct (e.g. Dinosaurs, dodos …) There is no reason why people should try to prevent this from happening. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the main purpose of school is to turn children into good citizens and workers, rather to benefit them as individuals. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think an international car-free day is an effective way to reduce air pollution. Others think there are more effective ways to do this. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.