Teenagers should never be put in prison with adults no matter how serious their crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Young
people
should be separated from older humans in jill regardless of their dangerous habits. In my point of view strongly agree with this
statement.The reason why I agree with is
that teenagers can learn a bad manner from others and may contribute to a higher risk for them, Correct pronoun usage
this is
also
every age group has a different mindset so they cannot understand each other.
On one way , political rules play a fondemantel role in decreasing the effects of the problems .That is why the police design
a specific place for killers under 18. In Wrong verb form
designed
this
place , many things happen which is suitable for their age. Also
, when we join the oldest people
with the teenagers this
may sour the crime because the adult
mayFix the agreement mistake
adults
by teaching
them violence in the future. Wrong verb form
teach
For example
, my friend did not reach 20 years old and one day he has
an accident in a car and Wrong verb form
had
when
the police put them in the jill because he Rephrase
apply
does
not have a Wrong verb form
did
driving
license. The policemen put him in a separate building far away from the older human.
Change noun form
driver's
However
, in each stage of our ,life we share special thoughts which is
appropriate for our levels. So it is difficult to communicate with experienced Change the verb form
are
people
who lived before us unless we live with them. Thus
, the authorities of our country decide on having two places in prisons for people
under18
and up to 70. To illustrate that some teenagers have a simple crime so when they attach a strong reaction from the older one they may learn a much more from their bad behaviour.
In conclusion, prison should separate Correct your spelling
under 18
people
according to
their age and not care about the risks of their behaviours. I truly agree with this
idea because it will rocket the risky
and it will enhance the youngest Replace the word
risk
people
to show unrespected manner to others.Submitted by alghafryhna on
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task response
Ensure that your response directly addresses the task given. Support your views with specific examples and explanations to strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay lacks overall coherence. Make sure to organize your ideas logically and use cohesive devices such as transition words and linking phrases to connect your ideas.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite