IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Many parents today organize extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is worthwhile thing to do or do you feel children have enough education at school?

#parents #classes #children #school #weekends #education
Over the past few years, parents thinking has changed towards kids education as today’s generation has cultivated their diverse aptitudes due to the advancement of technology, so every parent wants their offspring on the top in every field. I think that providing an extra curriculum to the young generation out of the school hours can be beneficial.
To begin
 with, extra classes are more personalized and problem-specific for the student. Children have the freedom to discuss the confusing questions with the teacher which is not possible in the formal class as the teacher is under the pressure to complete the syllabus. What is more, the teacher can pay full attention to the kids during these sessions and teach them how to work in group projects as well as can teach cooperative manners.
Also
, supplementary classes can help the student to revise school work.
In addition
, pupils can enhance their general knowledge during
this
 period.
On the contrary
,
this
 trend can cause depression and loss of childhood memories.
For instance
, if students attend extra classes during their formal study
then
 they do not have time to play with their friends which lead to health problems
such
 as obesity, lack of a peaceful mind, loneliness without parents and social friends.
Moreover
, giving children time to play with their friends can make them socialised and
also
 they can create some memories which assist them to feel happy during loneliness. In conclusion, in my opinion, parents should consider about offspring's overall development and they should
also
 provide them a time to be relaxed by playing and exercising along with the education.
Submitted by maninderdeep on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: