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Nowadays celebrities are more famous for their glamour and wealth than for their achievements, and this sets a bad example to young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement

#celebrities #glamour #wealth #achievements #sets #people
It is true that in the advent
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technology
techlonogy
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of techlonogy
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 ages, more and more
people
 are known for flashy and glamourous lifestyles. While these celebrities will
affact
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affect
 to teenagers wrongly. I believe that other influencers can be
a
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apply
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outstanding role
model
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models
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.
Firstly
, some celebrities are popular in social media by their famer rather than their achievements and those give a bad example to young
people
. Some influencers usually show off their
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
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, cars of
famous
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the famous
a famous
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brand
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brands
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 on Facebook or Instagram, and their easy life without working.
As a result
, teenagers take care
on
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of
show examples
 the
appreance
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appearance
, the spots in the media than
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schoolwork
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school work
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schoolwork
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.
Furthmore
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Furthermore
, few creators who have a thousand
of
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apply
show examples
follwers
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followers
 post dangerous experiences or toxic topics on Youtube.Those can be
affact
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affect
 to both the emotion and physic of impressionable teens.
On the other hand
, many talented
people
 are famous for the
ditermation
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determination
 in their
filed
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field
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. There are a lot of Acsticals, Singers,
Althetes
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Athletes
 get
the
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apply
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successful careers by application and ambition. These
people
 send to positive message to young
people
 about hard
working
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work
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.
For example
, BTS, a
notiable
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notable
noticeable
 boy group from
Korean
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Korea
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, by
peforming
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performing
 the
brightly
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bright
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 song,
they
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apply
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motivate young to be confident and love
yourself
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themselves
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.
Bacause
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Because
 they had the struggling in the past and now become famous
group
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groups
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 through the
ditermation
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determination
 and no give up, they become
positive
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a positive
show examples
 role
model
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models
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. In
conclution
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conclusion
, in the digital
ages
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age
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, it
is seem
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seems
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easily
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easy
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 to become well-known
people
 and young
people
 may have
the
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a
show examples
 non-true
prespective
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perspective
anout
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about
 them.
However
, there
alway
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always
 are talented
people
 getting their succession by hard work and they may motivate to others.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • glamour
  • wealth
  • achievements
  • portrayed
  • overshadow
  • influenced
  • lifestyles
  • unrealistic
  • expectations
  • values
  • promoting
  • hard work
  • perseverance
  • inspire
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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