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Band 8

More people put their personal information online (address, telephone number,…) for everyday activities such as socializing on social networks or banking purposes. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

#people #information #address #telephone #activities #networks #purposes #development
There is a controversial perspective heating a debate over people publicizing their private information on social platforms for numerous purposes. From my own perspective, I would strongly contend that
this
 trend may act as a disturbance on internet users more than the benefits it may bring, especially on their real-life outside the screens. It is irrefutable to note that people have a tendency to put their information on social accounts for many reasonable underlying roots. In fact, we are all living in a technology-based society,
thus
 most of our daily activities will be processed by the internet network. On Facebook, online shopping has become a massive trend among every walks of life nowadays for its convenience. Specifically, buyers are putting personal information in the comment section, and sellers could easily deliver the package within a few days.
As a result
, it not only expedited the buying process but
also
 boosted customer satisfaction. While the redeeming features of the aforementioned notion are widely acknowledged, it is unfair if the downsides are being overlooked. Due to the fact that the data on social networks are exposed to everyone, it may facilitate online criminals. As a consequence, they could make use of people’s figures
such
 as home address, phone number or bank account numbers by selling them to anonymous online platforms.
Hence
, victims may receive disturbing messages, blackmail or even lose money from their bank account to a sophisticated online hacking scheme. For those reasons, people may be facing a wide range of troubles when it comes to publicizing private data on social platforms. In conclusion, I am well convinced that despite some minor conveniences, registering detailed descriptions online could lead to tremendous negative impacts on users' daily life.
Submitted by thuhuong3031999 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Personal information
  • Online privacy
  • Security concerns
  • Identity theft
  • Enhanced connectivity
  • Convenient access
  • Social networks
  • Banking purposes
  • Positive development
  • Negative impact
What to do next:
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