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Band 5.5

Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #crime #prison #sentences
It is argued by some that the most effective way of reducing
crimes
 is giving jail imprisonment for a longer period of time.
However
, others argue that there are other better ways to
tackl e
Correct your spelling
tackle
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 the issue.In
this
 essay, I will discuss my own perspectives and why I believe that
alternatives
Replace the word
alternative
show examples
 measures are far better. There are those who believe that issuing a harsher punishment is the strongest method to deter
the
Correct article usage
apply
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crimes
. They believe that putting them behind the bars for a long term period could
instill
Change the spelling
instil
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 fear in other
people
 and potential criminals. . In fact, it could act as a deterrent to reduce
crimes
.Not only that , but
also
 longer sentences will discourage
people
 from committing a crime as they know the negative consequences when disobeying the laws.When prisoners are released after a short period of imprisonment, they could destroy the society affecting the young children.
Therefore
,
people
 who break the laws are subjected
for
Change preposition
to
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a longer prison time.
However
, I believe that alternative measures by means of reducing crime are better options. By tackling the main causes of
crimes
 is more effective.One of the causes of
crimes
 in underprivileged countries is poverty . The government should provide job opportunities to their young citizens to keep them off the street . Not only will the community become peaceful but
also
 it is safe to live within.
Moreover
, addiction is
also
 a big concern.By giving the proper treatment and counselling are pivotal in order to eradicate addiction .Efforts should be made by the authorities in order to lessen
this
 problem. By doing so, the rates of felonies could be lessened. In conclusion, longer prison terms certainly induce fear and discourage other
people
 and future criminals from committing offences.
However
,
by
Change preposition
apply
show examples
identifying and treating the root causes of
crimes
 are better ways to lower crime rates.
Submitted by veronica.pilar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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