IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Nowadays people tend to change a few careers during their life. What are the reasons for this, in your opinion. Do you think it is good for the society as a whole?

#people #change #careers #life #society
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Different strokes for different folks. In the tech-savvy era, it is
irrefutable
Correct article usage
an irrefutable
show examples
 fact that humankind has increased tremendously and nowadays, many people think out of the box and
change
 their occupations a few times for the sake of their
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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.
This
 is mainly because of the money
as well as
 the lack of opportunities in the present career.
This
 essay
shall intend
Wrong verb form
intends
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 to delve into the main reasons and will elaborate on my perspective in the upcoming paragraphs.
To begin
 with, one of the predominant reasons why individuals choose to alter their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
 because of the desire to make more money from the field where they work. To explain it, three necessary things, which
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
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 an imperative role in everyone’s life
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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are food, shelter and cloth.
Due to
this
, folks do industrious work to earn more.
Also
, they expect not only a good salary but
also
 better benefits from their workplace.
However
, when they are not satisfied they make a mind to
change
 their employer. To illustrate it, a recent survey
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
Cambridge University revealed that 90% of professionals are passing sumptuous
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 down to changing their path on time.
Furthermore
, another prevalent cause of
this
 is the absence of opportunities
such
 as a
change
 in the designation,
increments
Correct word choice
or increments
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. To explicate it, as the rate of population inclines the percentage of unemployment
also
 rises. Because of
this
, some youngsters are forced to choose a job. After that, when they realize that their profession does not satiate them in future
then
 they adopt an idea to
change
 it. One piece of evidence for
this
 is in 2012
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of employees in the telecommunication industry left their work as they saw
in
Change preposition
that
show examples
 the future industry would be in ruin. To recapitulate, it can be seen that communities
change
 their working area immediately when they realize that another field would be more beneficial and their recent job do not have
such
 facilities
as well as
 earing. I wholeheartedly deem that
this
 type of inclination is better for society because in
this
 way people fulfil their dreams.
As a result
, the poverty rate would decrease.
Submitted by prabhjotkaur9520 on

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coherence cohesion
Develop a clear and focused introduction that introduces the main points of the essay. Conclude with a summary of the main points and an indication of your perspective.
task achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. Ensure that all aspects of the question are addressed in more detail, including both the reasons for career changes and the impact on society.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • career mobility
  • lifelong learning
  • job satisfaction
  • economic factors
  • market dynamics
  • redundancy
  • work-life balance
  • skill set
  • adaptation
  • innovation
  • personal growth
  • vocational evolution
  • technological advancements
  • workforce diversification
  • expertise development
  • professional transition
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