Some people think that children should not be given toys as they distract them in their studies, whereas others believe that toys always help them in their education. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Some people believe that

children

Use synonyms

get distracted from their studies if they play with

toys

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However

Linking Words

, others argue that

toys

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play an essential part in helping

children

Use synonyms

Change preposition

with

show examples

their academics. I firmly believe that

toys

Use synonyms

are necessary for

children

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to enhance practical learning. Childhood is a phase of learning where a person's academic growth begins, and

toys

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are highly advantageous at

this

Linking Words

age.

Children

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often learn better by using

toys

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as compared to books.

For instance

Linking Words

children

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learn numbers more quickly with the help of numeric blocks.

Moreover

Linking Words

, games are those fun activities that help

children

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grasp complex concepts of education

while

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playing.

Toys

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help them master challenging topics and vocabulary without even

realizing

Use the right word

realising

show examples

that they are learning.

Therefore

Linking Words

, schools these days are spending a part of their funds to provide

toys

Use synonyms

to primary classes to enhance

children

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's learning process. To exemplify,

children

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learn difficult names of various animals

while

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playing with animal

toys

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the opponents argue that

toys

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create a significant distraction in

children

Use synonyms

's studies.

Children

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tend to spend more time playing with

toys

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but less

Check wording

time on

show examples

learning.

For instance

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, a research study shows that, on average, a child spends five hours

Change preposition

apply

show examples

a day in playful activities,

whereas

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only 2.5 hours in study.

Consequently

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, it leads to poor academic performance.

To conclude

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, in my opinion, if

children

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are given

toys

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, they spend more time playing than studying.

However

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, they can learn better

Change preposition

during

show examples

this

Linking Words

playing period compared to the actual academic classes.

johaljassi10

Nov 17, 2021

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coherence and cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and related details. This helps the reader follow your thoughts more easily.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and clearer.

task achievement

Try to balance your paragraphs better, with equal focus on both views. This will help you present a more complete response.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly states your beliefs and outlines the topic well.

task achievement

You have used examples to support your ideas, which is a positive aspect of your writing.

coherence and cohesion

The conclusion summarizes your opinion effectively, giving a nice ending to your essay.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

245 words

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Some people think that children should not be given toys as they distract them in their studies, whereas others believe that toys always help them in their education. discuss both views and give your own opinion

Word Count

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Everyone should consider becoming a vegetarian as consuming meat can cause serious health problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that students who achieve the highest scores in their exams should be rewarded. Others say that those who show progress should be rewarded instead. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In the past, people stored knowledge in the book. Nowadays, people store knowledge on the internet. Do you think advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that air travelshould be restricted because it causes serious pollution and up the world's fuel resources. to what extent do you agree or disagree?