Some people say that the best way to improve public health is by increasing the number of sports facilities. Others, however, say that this would have little effect on public health and that other measures are required. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The
health
problem among
people
around the world is increasing. While some
people
believe that with increasing
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
facilities
we will
increase
the public
health
level
, others argue that it would have too small
effect
Correct article usage
an effect
show examples
to change it. I totally agree with the former argument, and in
this
essay, I will discuss both sides of the topic. At
first
, let's talk about why
sports
facilities
are important. Because with
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
facilities
government will promote the
sport
and HLS.
For example
, I notice that when free gyms under the sky were built in my hometown, the number of doing
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
people
are increased.
Moreover
, I can see that there
too
Add a missing verb
are too
show examples
many
people
coming here in the evening. Or another example, until
mass
Add an article
the mass
show examples
building of football stadium in my hometown there was
a
Change the article
an
show examples
only stadium.
However
, after building around 30 stadiums, there minimum
30
Change preposition
of 30
show examples
people
in each one. It is demonstrated that the
sports
facilities
can
increase
the
sport
doing
people
. Causes of the most
health
problems are laziness of
people
and do not move enough. But when there is a lot of abilities
such
as playing football, working out or running every day on special tracks,
people
would try one of them in someday. It is better as much as possible
sports
facilities
in every town. But,
on the other hand
, the low
health
detected in the poor
countries
. They are usually needed for just water, and there are
sports
facilities
would
Correct pronoun usage
that would
show examples
not help with the
health
level
.
This
bad
health
level
is
result
Add an article
the result
a result
show examples
of bad foods and unclean water.
There
Correct your spelling
These
show examples
are the basics of healthy
life
Replace the word
living
show examples
. In poor
countries
Add a comma
,countries
show examples
people
are working for money to have
ability
Change the article
the ability
show examples
to buy food. I do not think that they have time for the
sport
. Government should
increase
the economics of the country to solve
this
issue.
This
is terrible, because
average
Correct article usage
the average
show examples
life expectancy in developing
countries
is 80 years, while in poor
countries
this
indication is only approximately 50 years. In conclusion, if
people
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
access
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
any
sports
facilities
,
then
they have to use it to
increase
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
their
health
level
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
because some
people
just can not afford it.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • sports facilities
  • physical activity
  • exercise
  • chronic diseases
  • heart disease
  • obesity
  • inclusivity
  • participation
  • safe environment
  • social interaction
  • community engagement
  • comprehensive approach
  • health education programs
  • environmental factors
  • healthcare infrastructure
  • quality healthcare services
  • public health initiatives
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