Some people believe famous people's support towards international aid organisations draws the attention to problems, while others think celebrities make the problems less important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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According to legislation, Giving punishment for
crime
Add an article
a crime
the crime
show examples
could really affect the mindsets of criminals.
However
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, it has been observed that they still commit crimes as they are released from prison. In
this
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essay, I shall describe
few
Correct article usage
a few
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reasons for
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
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sentiment and solutions for it. The primary key factor is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
self-realization. When criminals are kept in prison, they do not realize that they had done something wrong. Their mental dilemma remains
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
after
releasing
Wrong verb form
release
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because it is absolutely fine for them to spend a certain amount of time in prison. They enjoy
same
Change the article
the same
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lifestyle as before. Another reason is
society
Use synonyms
, where they had
Correct your spelling
grown up
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grownup
Correct your spelling
grown up
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,
thereafter
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, comes to the same environment, which influences them again to do the same.
For example
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, my husband committed five drink and
drive
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driving
show examples
offences, and when he goes
for
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to
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the party,
still
Correct pronoun usage
he still
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, ended up doing the same offence. Discussing
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the solution for changing the repeated offence behaviour of
crminals
Correct your spelling
criminals
, I would like to suggest that reformatory places are better than prisons where they can be taught about
consequences
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the consequences
show examples
of crimes and their affected families. They should visit those families and understand what they have been going through. Another considerable point could
be steps
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be stepped
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by Government to change the
Use synonyms
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
stereotype for them, should be able to regain respect from them. One of my cousins,
for instance
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, found
very
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it very
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hard to find a good job after he
sentenced
Add a missing verb
was sentenced
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for
Change preposition
to
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six months in jail.
Thus
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, certain rules and
regulation
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regulations
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should be implemented for obtaining the same position in
society
Use synonyms
.
At
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In
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the end,
victim
Add an article
the victim
a victim
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will no longer be
criminal
Correct article usage
a criminal
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unless he would learn self-realization and surroundings, should rather support them
instead
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of
degrading
Correct pronoun usage
themdegrading
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. Prisons must be converted to correction facilities,
as a result
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, would uplift them mentally to do better for
society
Use synonyms
and
community
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the community
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Philanthropy
  • International aid
  • Humanitarian
  • Public discourse
  • Star power
  • Awareness
  • Oversimplification
  • Trivialization
  • Expertise
  • Misinformation
  • Sustainability
  • Advocacy
  • Tangible
  • Influence
  • Endorsement
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