In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family why my triple want to do this is it a positive or negative development ?

#parts #world #research #history #development

the importance of history to know the value of the background was always debatable

has

Correct word choice

and has

show examples

now become more controversial with many people claiming that it is beneficial

while

others reject the notion.The substantial influence of

this

trend has sparked controversy over

the

Change the word

its

show examples

potential impact in recent years. The given statements

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

show examples

definitely a positive development

due to

the factors discussed in the subsequent paragraphs. Analysing the statement and explaining

further

,the first and foremost reason behind

this

is that

parents

are aware of their

children

to discuss the past of their family and it totally depends on the upbringing of the

children

. With the help of

this

youngsters

bonding

Wrong verb form

bond

show examples

towards their

parents

for

Change preposition

show examples

become stronger and

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

feel proud

toward

Change preposition

show examples

their family.

Parents

tell their

children

about

Change preposition

that

show examples

they have gotten a lot of Fame in the past because of their reputation in society and

they

Correct word choice

because they

show examples

were very down to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

earth. So,

this

is the reason why

children

respect their tribes so they learn from their elders.Another striking benefit in

this

regard is that they learn

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

everything from their ancestors.So, they can gain better knowledge from their Past weather related to the mistakes which would help them in future and they will share it with their generation

also

However

, there are some pitfalls that negate these arguments,and which can certainly overwhelm the potential influence of

this

point but one of the most alarming ones is that youngsters were feeling proud related to their family backgrounds. Meanwhile, their superior nature will affect society and they can judge anyone which would isolate them from society.

Besides

this

Correct determiner usage

apply

show examples

their dream of doing new things is not fulfilled

due to

the pressure of their

parents

and they can lose their self-confidence and their focus on their goal is no more.

Hence

, it is apparent why many are against

this

trend.

To conclude

according to

the arguments aforementioned above one can reach the conclusion, that the benefits of the historical background of the family are instrumental indeed.

Nevertheless

, its potential drawback should not be overlooked either.

Submitted by naresh on Wed Nov 17 2021

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Task Achievement

The essay addresses some aspects of the topic, but there is a lack of clarity and coherence in the response.

Coherence and Cohesion

The essay demonstrates a reasonable level of coherence and organization, but there are areas where the connection between ideas could be strengthened for better flow.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

339 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In some parts of the world it is becoming popular to research the history of one's own family why my triple want to do this is it a positive or negative development ?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programs (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that childhood is the best stage of happiness . While others believe that a person can enjoy more happiness in other stages of life. Discuss both views and give your opinion?

Nowadays doctors can become very rich. Maybe they should not focus on profitable activities such as plastic surgery or looking after rich patients and concentrate more on patient's health, no matter how rich they are. Do you agree or disagree?