IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Large shopping malls are replacing small shops. Do you think it is positive or negative development?

#malls #shops #development
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During the
last
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 decade, Replacing of the local shop is one of the most important factors caused by the big supermarkets. Personally, I strongly believe that
this
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 lead to negative consequences. In the following paragraphs, the reasons to support my opinion will be outlined in detail with prominent examples.
First
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 of all, the Becoming of more large
shops
Use synonyms
 will be a cause of income distribution failure.
In addition
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, to support large supermarkets, the earning is tend to go directly to the company which is the centre of the business ,not a producer. They act as middle-man to sell
products
Use synonyms
 in the retails. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 more chances, from the maker point of view, that
this
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 could be a cause for underpricing the
products
Use synonyms
first
Linking Words
 hand.
Furthermore
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, In the local
Use synonyms
shops
Add a comma
,shops
show examples
 they will have more fresh foods and vegetables
also
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 the local stuff can be easy to find at
this
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 place. Since the systems in
this
Linking Words
 marketplace
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 quite easy to manage, small, and not too complicated. Some are produced by the owner of the shop. To sum up, tiny
shops
Use synonyms
 are about to be replaced by big
shops
Use synonyms
 which can be a negative development
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 some business owners. They will lead to income distribution problems and a disability to buy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
fresh
products
Use synonyms
 from the market. To sum up, tiny
shops
Use synonyms
 are about to be replaced by big
shops
Use synonyms
 which can be a negative development to some business owners. They will lead to income distribution problems and a disability to buy the fresh
products
Use synonyms
 from the market.
Submitted by pakakoon.b on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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