Task 2: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In the competition age, people, today, do not want to become a loser.
Therefore
,
children
become the trainee to run
this
race
Change the verb form
racing

The verb race should be in the participle form when used as an adjective. Consider changing the form of this verb.

show examples
game.
However
, there is an ongoing debate about what
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
age is suitable for formal schooling. In my opinion, everyone has their own pace
on
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
learning. One standpoint is that the golden time for learning of human brain is around 3-6 years old. At that time, the young
children
's memory
as
Correct your spelling
was

The word as doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
a sponge to absorb a large
amount
Change the quantifier
number

It appears that the quantifier a large amount does not fit with the countable noun things. Consider changing the quantifier or the noun.

show examples
of new things. The fact is how people catch
this
period for their little
children
. Like Hong Kong helicopter parents who urge their
children
to join many pursuits around two-year-old in order to get a seat at a
well-know
Correct your spelling
well-known

The word well-know doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
kindergarten.
Therefore
, pupils use pencils
in
Correct your spelling
incorrect

The word in correct seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

show examples
correct
Add an article
a correct

The noun phrase correct gesture seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
gesture to write complicated Chinese words
that
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject complicated Chinese words. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
not suggested by
educational
Add an article
the educational

The noun phrase educational board seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
board. Parents are proud of their
children
in a good banding primary and secondary school.
Thus
, a popular belief is that earlier educated would be superior.
One
Correct your spelling
On

The word One doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
the other hand, childhood should be joyful. Learning is fun;
children
acquire
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge

The indefinite article, a, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun knowledge in your sentence. Consider removing it.

show examples
or skill through
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
fascinating games.
Therefore
, they would learn neutrally by
interaction
Replace the word
interacting

The word interaction doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
with
Correct pronoun usage
their companion

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
companion
Fix the agreement mistake
companions

It seems that companion may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
.
For example
, Sweden
children
's primary school lives are in a pleasurable atmosphere. From school, they learn how to play and how to create a game to play. Schoolmates are friends, not
a competitors
Correct the article-noun agreement
competitors
a competitor

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun competitors in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

show examples
.
This
kind of education
to
Fix the infinitive
apply

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

show examples
produce people's
creativities
Fix the agreement mistake
creativity

It seems that creativities may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
works. Like their familiar
glocers
Correct your spelling
grocers
glaciers

The word glocers is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

and furniture stall, Ikea, always
develop
Change the verb form
develops

The plural verb develop does not appear to agree with the singular subject Ikea. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

show examples
new designs on their products. In conclusion, too early schooling is making
childern
Correct your spelling
children

The word childern is not in our dictionary. If you’re sure this spelling is correct, you can add it to your personal dictionary to prevent future alerts.

that might find difficult in learning content as well as losing interest on studying.
As a result
, their
children
spend time on boring and stressful learning. It is not wise to push earlier studying on preschoolers.
Submitted by edith430 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Type your essay and get a band score instantly
Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Read more in the eBook

The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »

* free ebook for Premium users

What to do next:
Look at other essays:
Checks your essay in seconds
Instantly see mistakes you've made and learn how to avoid them.