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Band 4.5

The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. School should cut art and music out of the cirriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

#role #education #children #world #school #art #music #cirriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology
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The central reason behind
education
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 is mastered in the modern world.
Children
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 pay more attention to necessary or favourable
subjects
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 that are related to modern technology due to
art
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 and
music
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 should be cut out of the
curriculum
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. While I am in total disagreement with
this
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 notion that these kinds of
subjects
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,
for instance
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,
music
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 and
art
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 should be cut out of the
education
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 program for involving students in technological disciplines, but I agree that in the modern world students must have special interest for the IT.
Education
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 certainly determines the quality of an individual‘s life.
Education
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 can improve or make progress knowledge, skills, abilities of personality and attitude.
That is
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 why
education
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 and the system of
education
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 are the most essential for our society. One of the modern
education
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 systems is a
curriculum
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 for learning and searching in all the
subjects
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. There are advantages and disadvantages to the
curriculum
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. On the one hand,
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first
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the first
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advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
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 of
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curriculum
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a curriculum
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is
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are
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 that it can help us to select learning experiences.
Furthermore
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, the
curriculum
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 is able to contribute to the appropriate selection and organization of learning experiences.
In addition
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, when people study in
curriculum
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 system they can know with sophisticated modern technology.
This
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 condition has been helping
children
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 for modern life.
Secondly
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, individuals should make crucial decisions
what
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about what
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 is connected to their real-life in
curriculum
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, people can get together for doing
subjects
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 of interest.
On the other hand
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, some insignificant
subjects
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,
such
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 as
art
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,
music
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 and others which they enter in the
curriculum
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 should be cut out of the
education
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 program. For my personal consideration,
children
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 should make
art
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, listen to
music
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 or sing
music
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 out of school. If these
subjects
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 are out of the
curriculum
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,
this
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 condition can help
children
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 focus on available or useful
subjects
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.
As a result
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, if we want to encounter with modern future, we shall be careful
for
Change the preposition
with
about
of
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 our
education
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.
Education
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 has an essential role in preparing
children
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 for modern society or the world.
Submitted by abbasoveli on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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