IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Increasing numbers of students are choosing to study abroad. To what extent does this trend benefit the students themselves and the countries involved? What are the drawbacks?

#numbers #students #study #trend #benefit #countries
More
students
 these days are choosing to study in
countries
 far away from their homelands. And while
this
 trend is remarkably beneficial for both the
students
 and the destination
countries
, it has indeed some drawbacks , and I will be trying to address some of these
advantages
 and disadvantages in the following essay. Let us
beging
Correct your spelling
begin
 with the
advantages
. I believe that the most valuable gain is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social and cultural integration .
Students
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 their early twenties are to come into
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
close contact with a new culture that could be of different values and moralities than their own , and
this
 will boost their social skills and provide them with the
previlege
Correct your spelling
privilege
 of diversity acceptance.
Moreover
, most teenagers
seeking
Wrong verb form
seek
show examples
Add an article
an opportunity
the opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 to continue their academic attainment in one of the native English speaking
countries
, so they have to master
this
 language which is considered the language of
sience
Correct your spelling
science
silence
 ,
eventually
Add a comma
,eventually
show examples
 they will be recognized for their scientific achievement . What
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
a bout
Correct your spelling
about
show examples
 the receiving
countries
? Are there any
advantages
 out of these increasing numbers of
foreign
Add an article
the foreign
a foreign
show examples
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
show examples
? The answer is a big yes.
Firstly
 ,
students
' home
countries
 are paying a considerably big sum of money as a scholarship which considered a
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
privelege
Correct your spelling
privilege
.
Secondly
, I believe that universities are an ideal venue to get people of a diversity of races and cultural backgrounds to meet and to
excersise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 the tolerance of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others, and
this
 is a quite rich humanitarian experience.
On the other hand
,
students
 being away from their homeland are exposed to developing homesickness, which is an extremely stressful emotional disorder and could negatively affect their academic performance and their physical wellbeing so.
Additionally
, many
students
 opt not to get back home after graduating , a phenomenon called brains drain,
thus
 their
countries
 will
deprived
Change the verb form
deprive
show examples
briliant
Correct your spelling
brilliant
 minds that might
had
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 help in its development.
Nevertheless
, I believe that obtaining a postgraduate certificate from a renowned university outweigh all the
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 disadvantages. In conclusion, studying abroad is the ideal dream for millions of
students
 in
deeveloping
Correct your spelling
developing
countries
 , and
although
this
 trend
display
Change the verb form
displays
show examples
 many
advantages
 it has
however
 some downsides which , in my opinion , can be dealt with and alleviated .
Submitted by mkhmd68 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: