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Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #home #six #seven #year #school
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Which suitable age
children
Use synonyms
 should start their education at
school
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 is a controversial issue. While I understand that
children
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 staying at
home
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 until the age of six or seven bring several
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
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, I strongly believe that they should go to
school
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 at the earliest. On
one
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 hand, staying at
home
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 until reaching six or seven brings
children
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 some advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
children
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obtained
Correct pronoun usage
who obtained
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home
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 education before attending
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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grade
one
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 might have a better background than other pupils.
This
Linking Words
 is because their parents allow them to spend their daily time
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
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 their son or daughter
one
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 by
one
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. Another advantage is that
this
Linking Words
 group of
children
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 might have more
confident
Replace the word
confidence
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comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
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 with pupils going to class soon. They are mature, so they could have
a
Correct article usage
apply
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stronger mental and physical health.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are two main reasons parents should bring their
children
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 to
school
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 as soon as possible.
First
Linking Words
 of all,
children
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 leaving their family soon have to learn the way
adapting
Wrong verb form
adapt
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with
Change preposition
to
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new
Add an article
the new
a new
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 environment. Schooling environment
give
Change the verb form
gives
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 them more opportunity to make friends, be familiar with classes and lessons soon.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they are able to improve their social relationship and many helpful skills.
For example
Linking Words
, they can learn how to perform alone or with friends, and participate in various healthy activities at
school
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, parents can save time in taking care of
children
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, so they are able to acquire a more flexible schedule for their job.
As a result
Linking Words
, they could ensure their income and cover their life. In conclusion, I firmly argue that the benefit of
children
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 going to
school
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 as soon as possible
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
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 that of staying at
home
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 until they reach the age of six or seven.
Submitted by Andy on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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