Some people believe that children should be allowed to stay at home and play until they are six or seven year old. Others believe that it is important for young children to go to school as soon as possible. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Which suitable age
children
should start their education at
school
is a controversial issue. While I understand that
children
staying at
home
until the age of six or seven bring several
benefit
Change to a plural noun
benefits
show examples
, I strongly believe that they should go to
school
at the earliest. On
one
hand, staying at
home
until reaching six or seven brings
children
some advantages.
Firstly
,
children
obtained
Correct pronoun usage
who obtained
show examples
home
education before attending
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
grade
one
might have a better background than other pupils.
This
is because their parents allow them to spend their daily time
to teach
Change the verb form
teaching
show examples
their son or daughter
one
by
one
. Another advantage is that
this
group of
children
might have more
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
with pupils going to class soon. They are mature, so they could have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
stronger mental and physical health.
On the other hand
, there are two main reasons parents should bring their
children
to
school
as soon as possible.
First
of all,
children
leaving their family soon have to learn the way
adapting
Wrong verb form
adapt
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
environment. Schooling environment
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
them more opportunity to make friends, be familiar with classes and lessons soon.
Consequently
, they are able to improve their social relationship and many helpful skills.
For example
, they can learn how to perform alone or with friends, and participate in various healthy activities at
school
.
Secondly
, parents can save time in taking care of
children
, so they are able to acquire a more flexible schedule for their job.
As a result
, they could ensure their income and cover their life. In conclusion, I firmly argue that the benefit of
children
going to
school
as soon as possible
outweigh
Change the verb form
outweighs
show examples
that of staying at
home
until they reach the age of six or seven.
Submitted by Andy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: