Some people think children have the freedomto make mistakes,while other people believethat adults should prevent children from making mistakes.Discuss both sides and giveyour opinion.

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Introduction
IN RECENT TIMES, PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT PERCEPTION REAGRDING
CHILDREN
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'S
MISTAKES
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, AS SOME THINK IT IS OKAY TO MAKE
MISTAKES
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, BUT OTHERS ARGUE AND RESIST
THIS
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STATEMENT. AS PER THEIR OPINION,
CHILDREN
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SHOULD BE PREVENTED FROM
SUCH
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COMMIT BY ADULTS OR PARENTS.
THIS
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TOPIC GATHERED A SIGNIFICANT ATTENTION AND SPARKED WIDESPREAD ATTENTION. I WILL BE DISCUSSING BOTH VIEWS IN THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS.
Body paragraph 1
TO EMBARK UPON, GIVING LIBERTY TO A CHILD REGARDING MISTAKE, HELP THEM IN LEARNING SKILLS AND PROMOTE THEM TO FIND OUT THE POSITIVE SOLUTIONS TO THE PROBLEM.
ALSO
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, IN
THIS
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MANNER,
CHILDREN
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GET TO KNOW ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN RIGHT AND WRONG DECISIONS.
FOR INSTANCE
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, IF A TODDLER WANTS TO STAND BY HIMSELF,
FIRSTLY
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HE HAVE TO DO MULTIPLE
MISTAKES
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TO REACHED AT THEIR PATTICULAR GOAL, AND
AT THE END
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BY DOING SO HE STAMD ON HIS FOOT ONE DAY WITHOUT ANY ASSISTNACE.
Body paragraph 2
ON THE OTHER HAND
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, SOMETIMES MORE FREEDOM MAKES CHILDMIRRESPONSIBLE AND THEY START TAKING
THIS
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GRANT. AS
,
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apply
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THEY STARTED INVESTING THEIR TIME IN WRONG HABITS, WHICH LOOKS BENEFICIAL FOR THEM BUT HARMFUL FOR THE SOCIETY. TO EPITOMISE, IF A CHILD DOES NOT CORRECT DURING HIS LEARNING OR EARLY PHASE MAKES HIM MORE PRONE TOWARDS CRIME AND
THIS
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FOSTER HIM TO DO NUMEORUS
MISTAKES
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IN FUTURE.
Conclusion
TO RECAPITULATE,
CHILDREN
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WERE FREE TO MAKE
MISTAKES
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, BUT THEY SHOULD BE CORRECTED AT THAT PERIOD OF TIME WITHOUT ANY DELAYS.
ALSO
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,
WHILE
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CORRECTING TIME WILL ENCOURAGE THEM TO LEARN THINGS WITH A POSITIVE ATTITUDE
AND
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,
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SO THAT THEY FACE LESS CHALLENGES IN THEIR FUTURE LIFE.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give your own view, which answers the question. However, make your view clearer from the start. Say that children should be free to make small mistakes, but adults must stop mistakes that may cause harm.
task response
Develop each main idea more fully. Explain why small mistakes help children learn, and why some mistakes need adult help. This will make your ideas more clear and complete.
task response
Your first example about a child learning to stand is linked to the point, but it needs clearer wording. Use a simple example: a child may fall while learning to ride a bike, and this helps the child learn.
task response
The second example is too general. Do not say that a child who is not corrected may become a criminal. Give a more real and direct example, such as a child who wastes too much time online and needs a parent to set rules.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: an opening, one paragraph for each side, and an ending. Keep this plan, but make each paragraph start with one clear main idea.
coherence and cohesion
Use clearer links between ideas. For example, use 'On the one hand' for the first view, 'On the other hand' for the second view, and 'In my view' before your own opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences are hard to follow because they are very long or unclear. Write shorter sentences with a clear subject and verb. For example: 'Giving children some freedom helps them learn from experience.'
coherence and cohesion
Avoid repeating the same idea in the opening, such as saying the topic got much attention twice. Use that space to state the two views and your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
Make the ending more direct. State your view in one clear sentence, then briefly repeat the reason: adults should guide children, but should not stop every small mistake.
task response
You cover both views and give a clear final view that children need correction when they make mistakes.
task response
You use examples to support both main ideas, which helps the reader understand your meaning.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is divided into clear parts, so the reader can see the opening, both views, and the ending.
coherence and cohesion
You use linking words such as 'On the other hand' and 'To recapitulate' to show the movement from one idea to the next.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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