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Writing Samples /
Band 6

Task 2: Some people think that children should begin their formal education at a very early age. Some think they should begin at at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #education #age #think #years
A big consideration of many
parents
 about their
children
's education
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 started since theirs were able to walk. Is it
Add an article
a necessity
show examples
necessity
Replace the word
necessary
show examples
 for
parents
 to bring their
children
 to
school
 when they are
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
five years old? Or there are no apparent differences from giving their
children
 education at their seven. These questions are still rusk in some
parents
'
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
. Some believe that to start their
children
 learning since they are very young as it may help them fast learn and socialise while the
children
 that start their formal
school
 learning at elementary degree may gain more family
time
 and close. In my experience, the
parents
 best choice depends on how much
time
 they have to take care of their
children
. On one hand,
parents
 who don't have much have to stay with their
children
 all day are more likely to bring their
children
 to
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
school
 at
their
Change the word
a
show examples
 very early age in order to help them learn things fast and have friends. Teachers will teach them languages,
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
 of life, and how to socialise which the
parents
 may not know how to teach them correctly.
For example
, when I was at
kidergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
, I learnt how to read and write alphabets.
Thus
, it is much easier for
parents
 to bring their
children
school
Fix the infinitive
to school
show examples
 than teach them things by themselves.
On the other hand
,
parents
 who want their
children
begin
Fix the infinitive
to begin
show examples
 their
school
 learning at seven years old because they require to share
time
 with their
children
 and teach them how to live by themselves. They believe that the most important period to give a child the sense of warm and close family is when they are young.
For instance
, the
children
 can feel how much love their
parents
 give to them as they teach them how to live.
Therefore
,
children
 that start
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
school
 later may have
much
Add an article
a much
show examples
 closer relationship with their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. All in all, some families send their
children
 to
school
 at
very
Add an article
a very
show examples
 early age since they believe teachers and friends will fasten them to learn and socialise whereas some families want to spend their
time
 and teach them
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
 of life for
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
.
Finally
, each family has different conditions in giving their
children
's education, so to choose the best suitable one
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 your
children
 is the best choice.
Submitted by sudarat_pp04 on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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