IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people say that economic growth is the only way to end hunger and poverty, while others say that economic growth is damaging the environment so it must be stopped. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #growth #hunger #poverty #environment
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People are dealing with different views about economic development. While there is a belief that it is the sole method to discontinue starvation and impoverishment, others claim that it does serious harm to the
environment
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.
Although
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 it can be stated that the expansion of the economy plays a crucial role in eradicating some domestic difficulties, I believe that its effects on the
environment
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 are completely unacceptable.
To begin
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 with, the development of economics creates more job opportunities and increases the supply of goods.
This
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 would provide the inhabitants with plenty of job vacancies, which may resolve the unemployment problems within a country. The unemployed would have better careers with higher income, and their salaries are capable of taking care of their family members.
In addition
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, the vast extension in the quantities of products supplied might reduce the price of most consumer products.
Thus
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, the impoverished are affordable to purchase more products and their living standards significantly get better.
However
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, the surrounding
environment
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 in recent years is progressively devastating due to some undesirable attempts to grow the economy, and it must be strictly prevented.
For instance
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, an enormous amount of raw sewage and industrial waste has been reported to be discharged by myriad industrial factories, which may contaminate the sources of clean water and
then
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 possibly cause cancer to people living nearby.
Therefore
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, governments must enforce strict laws and policies to stop these activities. To recapitulate, effectively may economic growth help better people’s lives, I reckon that some destructive activities to the
environment
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 must be banned stringently.
Submitted by Andy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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