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Band 5.5

Today, more and more tourists re visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctica. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places.

Nowadays, many people are touring sites that are not friendly
like
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, like
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 the Saharan and Antarctic resorts.
This
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 essay discusses the advantages and disadvantages for those who visit
such
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 places. These unfriendly areas give new and different recreational experiences
as well as
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 cultural exposure to tourists.
First,
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the visitors are able to experience climates and other things that are totally different from the norm
and
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, and
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 they carry back memories to their countries.
Secondly
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, they can benefit from intermingling with people of other cultures and learning their languages and practices.
For example
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, a recent study indicated that many travellers usually buy local regalia and other things or learn the basics of greeting and communicating so that when they return home, they talk about these for the rest of their lives. But these places
also
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 come with negativities
such
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 as bad weather and travellers contracting ailments. Certain geographical locations are too hot and humid
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while
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, while
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 some are extremely cold. In the Sahara desert,
for instance
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, the likelihood of having to endure over
forty-degree
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forty degrees
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Celcius
Use the right word
Celsius
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 temperatures is high.
Further
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 still, it becomes problematic when the visitors contract serious ailments like malaria and influenza. Some come unprepared for these
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while
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, while
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 others are forced to prematurely abandon their trips.
For example
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, a European traveller was reported by the BBC to have been airlifted from the desert in Botswana to receive medical attention in South Africa after he went down with a viral infection. In summary, visiting places where conditions are difficult brings advantages and disadvantages for those who visit
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such
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, such
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 as cultural exposure and bad weather. These and other factors have been discussed at length in
this
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 essay.

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task achievement
Make sure to give specific examples for each point you make.
coherence and cohesion
Try to connect your ideas more smoothly for better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Add a sentence or two to introduce the main points clearly in the introduction.
task achievement
You provided some good examples like the study on cultural exposure.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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