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Writing Samples
Band 7

Computer games are becoming very popular among children of all ages and nationalities. Parents say they are concerned because these games have little educational value and many harmful effects. Do you agree or disagree?

#computer #games #children #ages #nationalities #parents #value #effects
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These days more and more adolescents have spent a large amount of
time
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 on online
games
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 around the world. While some parents have started to monitor
children
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's computer use, busy parents who work until late are inclined to let them free, arguing
children
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 will learn self-restriction in
time
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.
However
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, I strongly believe that computer
games
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 are more harmful than beneficial.
First
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 of all, young people can be addicted to online
games
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 and waste their
time
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 and resources.
Children
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 around 10 are not enough matured to restrict themselves and they easily play
games
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 for much longer than they are supposed to do so.
In addition
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, if students spent more
time
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 on
games
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, they would spare less
time
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 on assignments or preparation and it would end up with poor academic performance.
For instance
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, some students who indulged in online
games
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 dropped some classes and
finally
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 dropped out of primary school.
Secondly
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, the
games
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 on the internet are harmful to the physical and mental health of a child. Long before
children
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 played outside, while they are sitting for a long
time
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 during
games
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 nowadays. The shift in
children
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's play would prevent them from physical growth. What is worse, through social
games
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 a child would be unconsciously involved in a crime. Some vicious crimes can occur to the child where the parent does not know. In conclusion, disadvantages in computer
games
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 weigh more than the advantages. Students would get low academic grades and might be exposed to serious risks caused by a sedentary lifestyle and hidden crimes.
Submitted by momokonakaoka on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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