IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Discuss the reasons why people define happiness differently and how to obtain happiness?

#people #happiness
Since people are gradually achieving every aspect of
life
, they are currently in a ceaseless pursuit of true
happiness
 which is often lacking.
However
, the definition of
this
 varies from one to another and is hard to determine.
This
 essay is devoted to analysing the underlying roots of
this
 phenomenon and offers some methods to attain inner peace of mind. Obviously, the primary rationale behind an array of conceptions of contentment is that humans come from all walks of
life
. Since family backgrounds are of importance to form people’ mindsets, they might have distinct preferences and thoughts which make them truly feel happy. To be more particular, some residents, especially those who suffer from poverty may find
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 sense of satisfaction from a simple meal or the attachment of family members, while as to individuals who come from an affluent family, their
life
 gratification derives from fruitful achievement
such
 as earning a fortune.
Therefore
, there is no determinate definition of
happiness
 as each person will have their own view on
life
.
Although
 it is unable to define
happiness
, it does not mean it can be gained. Evidently, the most effective way to be content is
focusing
Change the verb form
to focus
show examples
 on what people possess and
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 grateful for these. In
this
 day and age, a large number of citizens are too ambitious and always look forward to another
life
 with nicer cars or houses,
nevertheless
Add a comma
,nevertheless
show examples
 their dreams are often not compatible with their current stage or capability.
Consequently
, humans cannot be satisfied but only be distressed due to all the stress of having better lives they put on themselves.
Hence
, enjoying and treasuring all the
moment
Fix the agreement mistake
moments
show examples
 being surrounded by your friends, having a modest meal or even being
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
show examples
 is the cleverest tactic to look for a tranquil frame of mind. To sum up, it is indisputable that each person can have their own perception of
happiness
 as they have different levels in society. Ultimately, the key to
happiness
 is simple if human beings can realize what they have.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: