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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

nowadays, many medical research projects are funded by private companies. in your opinion , do you think that resersh should be carried by private companies , individuals or government? give reasons for your answer

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Introduction
These days, many medical
research
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 projects are funded by private companies. Some people believe that these projects should
instead
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 be financed by
governments
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. In my opinion, medical
research
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 should mainly be carried out and funded by
governments
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 because
this
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 can lead to affordable
healthcare
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 services and better-qualified medical professionals.
Body · 1
To begin
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 with, government funding can help provide free or low-cost
healthcare
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 services for the public. When
governments
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 invest in medical
research
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 and
healthcare
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 systems, hospitals are often able to reduce the cost of treatments, surgeries, and medicines.
As a result
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, people can receive medical care more easily without worrying about expensive fees.
For instance
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, in some European countries
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such
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, such
show examples
 as the Netherlands, citizens have access to highly affordable
healthcare
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 services
due to
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 strong government support.
This
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 contributes to better public health and lower rates of serious diseases.
Body · 2
Another reason why
governments
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 should support medical
research
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 is that they are more likely to employ highly experienced medical experts. Public hospitals usually have stricter recruitment standards and can attract skilled doctors and researchers with many years of experience.
In contrast
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, some private companies may try to reduce costs by hiring less experienced staff.
Consequently
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, patients can receive more reliable treatment and recover more quickly.
According to
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 several studies, hospitals with experienced medical professionals tend to achieve higher success rates in complex operations.
Conclusion
In conclusion,
although
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 private companies can contribute to medical
research
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, I strongly believe that
governments
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 should play the leading role in funding and managing these projects because they can provide affordable
healthcare
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 and employ highly qualified medical specialists.

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task response
Make your main idea more exact. The question asks who should carry out research: private companies, people, or the government. You mostly talk about funding, so add more about who should do the research work.
task response
Add one more clear example to support your second body paragraph. This will make your ideas stronger and more full.
coherence and cohesion
Your ideas are easy to follow, but you can link them more smoothly with a few simple words like also, however, and therefore.
coherence and cohesion
The second main point is a bit less direct. Explain more clearly how government research leads to better doctors or better research results.
task response
You answer the question clearly and give your opinion from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear shape: introduction, two body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Each body paragraph has one main idea, and this helps the reader understand your points.
task response
You use a real country example, and this makes your writing more believable.
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