Mrs Barrett, an English-speaking woman who lives in your town, has advertised for someone to help her in her home for a few hours a day next summer. Write a letter to Mrs Barrett. In your letter: • suggest how you could help her in her home • say why you would like to do this work • explain when you will and will not be available

#mrs #barrett #woman #lives #town #someone #home #hours #summer #work

Dear Mrs Barrett, I am writing

this

letter with reference to your advertisement for helping you at your place

this

summer. I would like to apply to be your helper. I have been through the advertisement and would be able to assist you with the mentioned chores,

such

as cleaning the garage, watering the plants every day and decorating your living room. The reason for

this

application is mainly to help my parents with the college fund. My family had been wanting me to study at a college in New York.

However

, financial stability seemed unfavourable.

Hence

, I decided to take

this

opportunity

in assisting

Change preposition

to assist

show examples

them in paying the same.

Although

I will be available for the entire summer, the

timings

Replace the word

time

show examples

would have to be during lunch as I have a music class to attend in the evening and that would make it difficult to be available to help you during

evenings

Correct article usage

the evenings

show examples

. I would really appreciate it if you could review

this

and reply to me with your decision. Please feel free to contact me if you need any additional information. Yours sincerely, Farhana Jabeen

Submitted by jabeenfarhana9 on Fri Nov 19 2021

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task achievement

Provide more specific details on how you can help Mrs Barrett in her home.

task achievement

Expand on your motivation for wanting to do this work.

task achievement

Specify the exact time you will be available during lunch and when you will not be available in the evening.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that your letter has a clear and logical structure.

task achievement

Use a more formal tone throughout the letter.

grammatical range and accuracy

Proofread the letter for grammar and punctuation errors.

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

185 words

6.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Domestic chores
Culinary skills
Horticulture
Cultural immersion
Work ethic
Flexible schedule
Time management
Prior commitments
Punctuality
Reliability

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