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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Discuss an accomplishment, event, or realization that sparked a period of personal growth and a new understanding of yourself or others.

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The beauty of epiphany appeals to many but only a very few have been gifted with the luck to be able to put it into writing and share their tale with the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, Personally, that
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 awe-inspiring moment, when and where I realized I could be so much more, more than just any ordinary girl with ordinary hopes and aspirations, was when I topped my school during my 10th Board Examinations, with a score of 489 out of 500, securing 98.6%.  Now, when I laid my eyes on my scorecard for the first time, it didn'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 strike me as an exceptional catch because deep down, I knew I could've been better. But, if you're anything like me, you'd want to see that glint of happiness somersault in your parents' eyes and hear the euphoric voices of your grandparents (and family, in general). That was exactly what happened back home, on the 15th of July, 2020, the day I was convinced that my efforts meant something. But, overshadowing all the praises and the flowery, sugar-coated compliments,
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 came
expectation
Correct article usage
the expectation

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 to meet, the pressure to keep up the good work and to sustain. Achieving the top spot is
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 hard catch, but to sustain the victory and for how long, now, that's the hardest catch. And the most impressive
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 too, without a shadow of a doubt.
Sophomore
Correct pronoun usage
My sophomore

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 year of high school taught me an inexplicable deal about friendship, sportsmanship, leadership, team spirit, priorities, creativity, and confidence, but most importantly,
resillence
Correct your spelling
resilience

If you don’t want resillence to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

. In
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 terribly transient
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, everything that we yearn so much for is that feeling of self-worth and that sense of accomplishment; we want to love and we want to be loved, all by chasing these shape-shifters we call fame', 'stardom', wealth', 'success'. And that sense of self-worth rose to prominence the day I created an impact. Now, I know, in the eyes of the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it isn'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 magnanimous and hasn'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 brought about change in a thousand lives, but to know that I, as an individual, have proved myself just made it rosier. (And I definitely aspire to inspire change someday). I was being heaped with appreciation from so many people that I didn'
t
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 even know cared: it was nice to know that my accomplishment meant something to them too, though. And
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 sort of success always comes with a price to pay, with a capital investment prior to achieving, and another
installment
Change the spelling
instalment

The spelling of installment is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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(s) post the stellar performance. The turning point for me, at the time, was the realization that the feeling of being on top of the
world
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 was intoxicating; I found myself
on
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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 quicksand, ready to jump onto the road of complacency. Over time, I learned that I needed to be careful with
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 accomplishments at
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.
young
Correct article usage
a young

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 age. And today, though it's been over a year since the accomplishment, which I'll always proudly flaunt as
one
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 of my finest ever, I'm extremely grateful for being able to grasp the reality and get going In conclusion
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 essay will serve as a note to me and myself.

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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