the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The first line graph compares the proportion of three household electrical devices over the period of 99 years, and the
second
chart shows the
time
spent on domestic work per
week
from 1920 to 2019. It is evident that after 2000, the figure for refrigerators and vacuum cleaners rose to a peak of 100% that nearly every family owned these two devices. We can
also
see a decreased trend
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
the
time
spent on
housework
between 1920 and 2019.
According to
the first line chart, the ownership of refrigerators was negligible in 1920, and the number of vacuum cleaners was the highest at approximately 40%.
However
, just in 40 years, the number of washing machines overtook vacuum cleaners as the primary
households
Change the noun form
household
show examples
appliances.
By contrast
, the figure for washing machines steadily increased from about 30% to 100% between 1920 to 2000. Looking at the
second
graph, between 1920 and 2019, the
time
spent on
housework
fell from nearly 50 hours per
week
to 10 hours per
week
. There was a rapid decrease from 1920 to 1960 that reduced almost 30 hours per
week
for doing
housework
. After that, the
time
spent on
housework
underwent several highs and lows, and
finally
decreased to merely 10% in 2019.
Submitted by 1044191048 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "second".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, week, housework with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: