IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the government should use extra money to fund programs to improve the environment. Others think that it is better for the government to spend money to support artistic programs. Which option do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#people #government #money #fund #programs #environment #support #option
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It is often argued that the government should invest money for improving the environment as opposed to other
programs
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such
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 as supporting the arts. Whilst I believe that art
programs
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 are important, I agree with the notion that the ministry should support
programs
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 for improving the surroundings and I will substantiate my reasoning in the course of
this
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 essay. For starters, a clean bill of health is the greatest concern of all individuals. So the administration has to implement ways to help obtain
this
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. They can make the switch to greener forms of energy.
For instance
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, the leadership in Finland has installed numerous wind turbines outside major cities which help generate electricity for the city as well as the country dwellers.
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, they can ensure that car dealers make the switch to selling electric cars rather than the normal fossil fuel-powered vehicles.
This
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 in fact will help in the long run to bring down the carbon emission levels.
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, it is important from the view of the administration to try and clear up the air as
this
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 will help increase tourism in their respective countries which in turn will help boost their economy and create more job opportunities for the local people.
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, in Venice, Italy, because of the number of boats travelling through the canals, the pollution in the rivers is increasing which in turn is resulting in a decline in the number of tourists in the city. In conclusion, I believe that preserving the environment is very important and that it is imperative that the government do what is necessary to help to get the ball rolling in
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 regard.
Although
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 other
programs
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such
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 as art and sports are important for a countries' economy, they all take a back seat when it comes to cleaner air and a cleaner environment.
Submitted by Nigelvictorlawrence on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • allocate
  • allocate funds
  • environmental conservation
  • renewable energy
  • sustainable development
  • protect wildlife
  • reduce pollution
  • promote sustainability
  • artistic development
  • cultural expression
  • creative industries
  • nurture talent
  • artistic innovation
  • enrich society
  • budget allocation
  • prioritize
  • public opinion
  • government responsibility
  • social welfare
  • public wellbeing
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