IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

everybody should donate a fixed amount of their income to support charity. how far do you share this viewpoint?

#everybody #amount #income #support #charity
It is often said that everybody in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
society should take a fixed amount of their
income
 to support charity. I disagree with
this
 idea, and I will explain the reasons in
this
 essay.
First
 of all, supporting charities and helping poor
people
 is so valuable, and definitely has a positive effect on our lives, but now we are living in a society where inflation is increasing day by day, so
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
 is divided into two groups,
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
 group are those who have
great
Change the article
a great
show examples
 job with high
income
 and the
second
 group are those with low
income
.
People
 with high
income
 can supply their needs safely, and give some to the
people
 who need
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
.
Low
Add a hyphen
Low-income
show examples
income
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
 may not be able to help permanently due to
economical
Replace the word
economic
show examples
, and financial problems.
Secondly
, everyone can help as much as they can. It may not even be financial help, we can donate clothes or items that are no longer used and are not old. Doing
this
 every once in a while is very useful and has
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 economical pressure on anyone. It is true that there are some folk that
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a plan for their expense, and they set aside money monthly or weekly for charity work. But these
people
 are very limited by these conditions of the country. To conclude, I believe that helping
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
charities leads many to believe that humanity still exists and it is very valuable for us to make someone happy, so we should help as much as we can.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: