Living in big cities is bad for people's health. What extend do you agree and disagree?

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In the present scenario,
every one
Replace the word
everyone

The word every one may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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has a dream to live in big
cities
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.
Although
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, it is sometimes thought
people
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have more
health
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issues to live in metropolitan areas. In my opinion, I considered that there are both positives and
negatives
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negative

The word negatives doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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effects on
people
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's
health
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. There are several reasons why
people
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are getting more
health
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problems while they are living in urban areas. The
first
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and foremost important thing is that increasing pollution. There is too much traffic congestion in a city because of the rising use of personal vehicles.
In addition
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,
cities
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do not have more trees to keep air pollution under control.
Moreover
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, most of the trees are cut down by
people
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to construct tall buildings.
Therefore
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,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

can not get fresh air. Another point to consider living in
cities
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is not good for human's
health
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means expanding industries. There are many factories in
cities
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that are emitting toxic gases from their chimneys.
For instance
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, in one survey has conducted in the Uk, toxic gases are terrible for human's
health
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and they can be prevented from breathing,
people
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may have died because of breathing problems.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

would have various detrimental diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
people
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have many options to fit their
health
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when they are living in urban areas.
Firstly
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, there are many gyms available and
people
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go on
regular
Add an article
a regular

The noun phrase regular basis seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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basis over there.
Secondly
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
people
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are doing morning walks and
exercieses
Correct your spelling
exercises
exercise

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to keep themselves healthy.
Finally
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, they may have a good diet. In conclusion, the life expectancy is less in
cities
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are affected by numerous diseases, but there are some ways to live
healthy
Add an article
a healthy

The noun phrase healthy life seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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life and it should not neglect.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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