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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

As the world becomes technologically advanced, computers are replacing people at more and more jobs. What are some job positions that may be lost because of computers? What are some problems that may result from this situation

#world #computers #people #jobs #job #positions #situation
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Today we are living in the world of robotics and computer programming. More and more programming languages are being discovered
everyday
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every day
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 and which is making
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job
Add an article
the job
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 of a human
more and more easy
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easier and easier
easier
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. We are staring at a scenario, where, due to
this
Linking Words
 technological advancement, humans will be completely replaced with machines for some
jobs
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. In
olden
Correct article usage
the olden
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 days, i.e. before the advent of computers, there were humans required to do even the easiest of
jobs
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. Even though these
jobs
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 were not skilled, the
person
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 doing that
job
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 had the peace of mind that he is working and earning his bread and butter for himself and his or her family. There were sweepers, people working in factories could be
such
Linking Words
 examples. But with automation, a sweeper can be completely replaced by a sweeping machine
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
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 can work continuously for
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
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 duration and keep the floor clean. Even the
job
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 of a driver, which can be considered as
semi skilled
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semi-skilled
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, will be soon replaced by a car that drives itself automatically. The
person
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 who works in a factory in front of a conveyer belt and is a part of a bigger process can be replaced entirely by machines. In future, any
job
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 that requires the same process to be done over and over again can be automated and a
person
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 can be replaced. Only
jobs
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 that may not be replaced will be the ones
which
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that
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 require analytical skills and
high
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a high
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 level of intelligence which is not easily replicable.
This
Linking Words
 automation and
computarisation
Correct your spelling
computerisation
computerization
 may bring companies
lot
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a lot
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 of savings in cost but
on the other
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hand
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,hand
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 it is equally risky for the society as a whole. As they say, an empty mind is a devil's advocate, a
person
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 who will lose his
job
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 to a computer is at
a
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apply
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risk of inculcating bad habits or
go
Wrong verb form
going
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 on the path of crime to earn quick money to run the show for his family. There might be increased cases of depression and suicides
as a result
Linking Words
 of
job
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 losses and
inability
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the inability
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 to earn money. To conclude, I would like to say that machines are for humans and not the other way round. It is important to strike
a
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the
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 right balance between
the
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apply
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automation and human efforts in order to maintain the level of profits as well as social security.
Submitted by omkar.mhaskar on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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