IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that teenagers should be requested an unpaid job in their free time. They believe that these will be helpful for both individual teenagers and local communities. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #job #time #communities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In today's fast-changing society, most of the younger
generations
Use synonyms
 are more talented than the older
generations
Use synonyms
. It is believed that young
people
Use synonyms
 should volunteer for their
communities
Use synonyms
 in their leisure
time
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue and think that it is unnecessary. From my point of view, I generally agree with the latter view and think that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should spend their
time
Use synonyms
 on entertaining activities. In the following paragraphs, the reason to support my view will be discussed in detail. On the one hand, a large number of parents believe that their children have adequate potential to develop their neighbourhood.
This
Linking Words
 is because the younger
generations
Use synonyms
, especially generation z, are tech-savvy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, these
people
Use synonyms
 can contribute greatly to the wealth and well-being of their
communities
Use synonyms
 by promoting their local products and services. According to a recent news report,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 in Suanpak village, a suburb of Bangkok, play a key role in raising awareness about the tourism of their hometown, resulting in the success of
this
Linking Words
 place.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is said that
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should spend their leisure
time
Use synonyms
 on activities that they are interested
instead
Linking Words
 of volunteering for their
communities
Use synonyms
. Statistics indicate that
people
Use synonyms
 aged 12-20 should have their spare
time
Use synonyms
 to do something they like
such
Linking Words
 as watching movies, playing sports, and so on.
This
Linking Words
 will help them find their talents and maximize them, leading to their successful lives.
In addition
Linking Words
, spending
time
Use synonyms
 with
communities
Use synonyms
 will make
teenagers
Use synonyms
 lack
of
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
socializing
skills
Use synonyms
. The younger
generations
Use synonyms
 can develop their interpersonal
skills
Use synonyms
 by meeting new
people
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
their
Change the word
the
show examples
 same age.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the more
teenagers
Use synonyms
 spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with
communities
Use synonyms
, the more they lose their essential
skills
Use synonyms
. To sum up, it can be concluded that
although
Linking Words
 having teenage volunteers is beneficial for
communities
Use synonyms
,
teenagers
Use synonyms
 should spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 on interesting activities in order to develop their talents and communication
skills
Use synonyms
. In my opinion, the disadvantages of having teenage volunteers in
communities
Use synonyms
 generally outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by methamongsri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: