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In some countries, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough what are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message.

#countries #children #message
If children try hard, can reach
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their goals? Some people believe that if their kids try so hard and enough in their
life
,
for example
 in their school or university,
finally
 they will be succeeded in the future.
To begin
 with, I agree with
this
theory
 because when a
person
 wants to be a
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
person
 in his or her
life
, he or she must try so hard and enough for
life
 and goals. whereas, some people believe that chance is more necessary than our trying. But if we look at
success
person
's lifestyle, we can observe they had been tired in their
life
.
In addition
, we have to provide a free atmosphere for our children to encourage them to bring out their talent and creativity.
For instance
, when they can improve their inner ability, eventually they can achieve their goals. Some experts and scientists have another
theory
such
 as we will
success
Replace the word
succeed
show examples
 if we have sufficient facilities for a comfortable
life
.
Therefore
, parents must encourage their children to have a comfortable lifestyle.
Furthermore
, some people believe that our
success
 during our
life
 stems from our trying so hard in primary or high school's times.
On the other hand
, they are thinking that our
success
 arises from our trying. To conclude
this
 essay, there are some advantages and benefits in
this
theory
 which if try hard enough
finally
 you will be succeeded in the future.
Otherwise
, there are some disadvantages and drawbacks in
this
theory
; if we do not have a straightforward approach for our
life
 and do not try hard, we will not a
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 during our
life
.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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