IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #people #health #food #governments #tax
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Due to temp of life is increasing dramatically, some people have to eat unhealthy cuisines
such
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 as hamburgers, hotdogs and etc.
This
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 lead to
problem
Add an article
a problem
the problem
show examples
 with health, because these type of meal have too many fats, preservatives and so on. In
this
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 ,case it looks the government need to do some actions to solve
this
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 issue. And one of these the decision is increasing
tax
Use synonyms
 for
such
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 type of field. I my own opinion, I agree just partly with the former solution. On the one hand, fast food let people save time, and increasing
tax
Use synonyms
 for work
such
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 as KFC or MacDonald's it's mean that persons who have no time just will pay more money for the same food as before and they will continue eating it. Everyone knows statment
such
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: Request creates proposal. So request for fast cooking will at all time.
On the other hand
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, if the state will increase the
tax
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 it's mean that number of fatsfood points will decrease or at least new competitions will not be. Because there are full of different business in
this
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 field. It
also
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 depends on how much the government are going to increase the
tax
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 price, and where. Increasing
tax
Use synonyms
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
overlooks the real pressing matter, and there is a range of solutions, which each one can lead to different effects.
For instance
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, the state can deny or change some type of ingredients in the products. Or another example is denying advertisements for these foods on TV
for example
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. So in final ,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
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conclusion it looks that in general make the high
tax
Use synonyms
 for fast food trade will not solve the problem. The state needs alternative or more complex ways to reach a good achievement.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • public health
  • obesity
  • diabetes
  • heart disease
  • health outcomes
  • healthcare costs
  • consumer behavior
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • ethical implications
  • public health campaigns
  • subsidies
  • regulations
  • nutritional content
  • healthier food options
  • government intervention
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