Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of a bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
day and age, others argue that social problems and poorness contribute to crime, but criminal issues are caused by a bad individual's nature. Both views will be discussed throughout
this
Linking Words
essay.  It is generally accepted that there are many issues that adversely impact society. A considerable obstacle is corruption; the population lacks financial support from the government.
Due to
Linking Words
the fact that funding should be provided by authorities, numerous residents will get opportunities to study.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, the government paid less attention to the people's qualities, which possibly led to higher criminal rates and poverty. A clear illustration of
this
Linking Words
is that being
theives
Correct your spelling
thieves
probably occurs to survive these days.
However
Linking Words
, if they had knowledge about how to find a job, they would have a stable income, reducing poverty. 
On the contrary
Linking Words
, the outcome of criminal activities depends on the nature of their own ways. It is paramount to first consider the
stimulation's
Change noun form
stimulation
show examples
environment;
as a consequence
Linking Words
, children are able to follow without being subconscious. On the downside, movies are a crucial reason to consider; the role's actors are obviously going to reflect the justification for viewers for various reasons.
Additionally
Linking Words
, taking care of offspring is one of the responsibilities of adults.
While
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
may be true, it's important to note that ignorance will be the starting point for bad habits
such
Linking Words
as violence, bullying, and drug addiction. Not only can the fundamentals of parenting happen, but having friends could affect the behaviours and mindsets as well.  In conclusion, the outside world might be affected by the criminal case for several reasons. From my point of view, I believe that it doesn't matter that crime is contributed by personalities. As a suggestion, authorities and governments should encourage restrictions on these issues, which can be relieved as much as possible.
Submitted by sasinipapj on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
To improve your task achievement score, ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt. Provide a more explicit statement of your opinion on whether crime results more from social problems or an individual's nature. Use the conclusion to clearly state your perspective, backed by the arguments you've discussed.
Task Achievement
Enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas by developing your arguments more fully. Discuss the connection between social issues or an individual's nature and criminal activities in greater detail, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your points.
Task Achievement
Incorporate relevant and specific examples to support your main points. This strengthens your argument and demonstrates a deeper understanding of the topic. Avoid generic statements and instead, provide tangible examples that directly relate to the argument you're making.
Coherence and Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on creating a logically structured essay. This involves planning your essay effectively, ensuring there's a clear progression of ideas from the introduction, through the body paragraphs, to the conclusion. Use transition words and phrases to help connect your ideas more smoothly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly distinguishable and serve their respective purposes well. Your introduction should set the stage for your discussion, while your conclusion must wrap up your arguments, reinforcing your thesis. Avoid introducing new ideas in the conclusion.
Coherence and Cohesion
When supporting your main points, ensure each body paragraph focuses on a single idea and is well-developed. This includes providing a topic sentence, explanation, example, and a concluding sentence that links back to the essay question. This structure helps maintain logical flow and clarity.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: