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Television dominates the free-time of too many people. It can make people lazy and prevent them from socialising with others.

#television #free-time #people
Nowadays, more and more
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 choose to watch TV set at home as their leisure activity. Some
people
 think that it can make
community
Correct article usage
the community
show examples
 lazy and isolated from socializing with others. I totally agree with
this
 view. There is no dought that
television
 can give us an opportunity to get knowledge.
Through
Change preposition
In
show examples
this
 way, we can see different landscapes and other countries' cultures without going there.
However
, if
television
 dominates the free
time
, the pros will outweigh
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the crops, and there are several problems it could cause.
Firstly
, watching
tevelision
Correct your spelling
television
 for a long
time
 is harmful to
community's
Correct article usage
the community's
show examples
 health. It can damage our eyesight and become fat. There is a phase called 'sofa potato which illustrates those
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
 who stay on the sofa and watch
television
 all day. The tevelesion' slight will make
people
's eyes feel tired even destroy our eyesight. What's more, staying at home to watch
television
instead
 of doing exercises make
people
 fat and lazy.
Secondly
, it is not good for
people
 to improve social skills and communication skills. Because face to a
Televison
Correct your spelling
Television
 all day will make
people
 feel lonely and isolated. And
people
 who watch
television
 all day can not get the form of hanging out with friends. It can be harmful to one person's mental health. In conclusion,
people
 should limit the
time
 of watching
television
 and do some outdoor activities
such
 as having a picnic, riding a bicycle or going hiking with their friends or families in their free
time
 which can get more joy and happiness.
Submitted by sweetdaisy1222 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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