IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant example from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation #reason
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Nowadays, many
people
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 have only
little
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a little
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time
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 for
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a hobby
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hobby
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hobbies
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 because they spend more
time
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for
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apply
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working. From my perspective,
this
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 situation
have
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has
show examples
 more drawbacks than benefits. In
this
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 essay, both of these viewpoints will be discussed before reaching a conclusion. On the one hand, working longer hours creates several problems. Generally,
people
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 should have
time
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 to do their
leisure
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activities
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 in order to reduce stress.
Although
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dedicated
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dedication
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 to
work
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working
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 is a good
things
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thing
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, employees should think of
work-life-balance
Correct your spelling
work-life balance
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.
Firstly
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, working too long will lead to many health problems
such
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 as office syndrome, obesity, stress, etc.
Secondly
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, lack of
leisure
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activities
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 will decrease their ability to adapt themselves to societies. Social skills can build from
do
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doing
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 lots of
activities
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.
On the other hand
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, it is undeniable that many
people
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 earn more money from working hard and long hours. They can become millionaires if they put
their
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in their
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 effort more than rivals.
For instance
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, Flash, a leading logistic company in Thailand, has longer service hours than other providers. As they believe that the only way to win
this
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 game, the CEO mentioned that his team needed to work longer at the
first
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 stage. Another benefit is that some
leisure
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activities
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 require a lot of money.
Therefore
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, not doing
Correct article usage
a hobby
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hobby
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hobbies
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 will save some money. In conclusion, it is true that
employee
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employees
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 will not happy without
work-life-balance
Correct your spelling
work-life balance
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. On top of that,it is better for
employee
Add an article
an employee
the employee
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 to reduce their stress level by balancing both working
time
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 and
leisure
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activities
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. I personally believe that
people
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 should keep their
privacy
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private
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time
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 to do
leisure
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activities
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.
Submitted by kanokwann.joy on

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