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Band 5

Children are facing more pressures nowadays academic, social and commercial perspectives. What are the causes of the pressures and what measures should be taken to reduce the pressures?

#children #pressures #perspectives #measures
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These days, it is apparent that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic stress among children has dramatically increased. In
this
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 essay, the reasons why
this
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pressure
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 occurs will be discussed in detail, and the promising remedies will be addressed to alleviate the problems. The
first
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 cause
led
Correct pronoun usage
that led
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 to higher pressures is
an
Change the article
a
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 high expectation from
parents
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. As every
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parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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 wants their pupils to be
a
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apply
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successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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, they inadvertently
pressure
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 their
Correct your spelling
child
childs
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
 by sending them to study extra classes
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and convince their
offsprings
Fix the agreement mistake
offspring
show examples
 to study in the field of higher education as they want.
For example
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, some
parents
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 want their kids to be a doctor without asking the kid's
intention
Fix the agreement mistake
intentions
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. As the result,
Correct your spelling
children
childrens
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children
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 become anxious and depressed.
Moreover
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, the recent
class
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 contains too
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 of
cirriculums
Correct your spelling
curriculums
curriculum
 per
day
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.
For example
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, In Thailand,
the
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apply
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high school's
students
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 need to study in
class
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approximately
Change preposition
for approximately
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 8 hours per
day
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, which
the
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apply
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amount of time is higher than most schools in the world.
Therefore
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,
students
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 can be stressed from prolonged classes. In order to mitigate the
afforementioned
Correct your spelling
aforementioned
 problems,
parents
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 should give pupils the freedom in
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 of selecting their own future life. Obviously, they will be good at their favourite subjects, and they can use the
knowledges
Change the wording
knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge
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 to generate income in the future with a strong passion.
For instance
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, my parent respected my decision to select the faculty for the university.
Consequently
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, I love the jobs that I'm doing right now as an agricultural extensionist.
Furthermore
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, the authority should reduce the duration
for
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of
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 the
class
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 per
day
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 to optimize the learning performance. According to the BBC news report,
although
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 the
students
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 in
europe
Change the capitalization
Europe
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 spend only 5 hours in schools, they are more
genious
Correct your spelling
generous
 and be able to work in
the
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apply
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prestigious companies compared to Thai
students
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.
Hence
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,
the
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apply
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more time
spending
Wrong verb form
spent
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 in
class
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 does not
guaruntee
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 the capability of
students
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. In conclusion, the number of
students
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 who are suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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academic
stresses
Fix the agreement mistake
stress
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 has more and more increased
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 due to the
pressure
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 from their
parents
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 and
long
Correct article usage
the long
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class
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 duration.
However
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,
these
Correct determiner usage
this
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pressure
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 can be minimized by providing
the
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apply
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freedom to kids and
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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 the
class
Use synonyms
 session per
day
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by prokoh_ja_555 on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic pressure
  • globalized world
  • competitive education system
  • social media influences
  • cyberbullying
  • commercial pressures
  • aggressive marketing
  • materialistic desires
  • peer pressure
  • high expectations
  • standardized testing
  • quantifiable performance
  • stress and anxiety
  • extracurricular achievements
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