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Band 4.5

Everyone should adopt a vegetarian diet because eating meat can cause serious health problems. Do you agree or disagree?

#diet #meat #health
Some people are vegetarian and others are not. Is it necessary to adopt a vegetarian
diet
 to be a healthy person?. Our
health
 is related to eating
meat
 or
vegetables
, whereas some people say that if we want to be a healthy person, equally we have to eat
vegetables
 and fruits during our daily activities.
To begin
 with, I disagree with
this
 theory which says; everyone should adopt a vegetarian
diet
 because eating
meat
 can cause serious
health
 problems
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 because I think our
health
 relate to our activities and exercise during the day.
For example
, if we just eat
vegetables
 and do not exercise during our life,
finally
 our body will weaken.
In addition
, our
diet
 should have different types of
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
 and mineral
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
nutritions
Correct your spelling
nutrition
show examples
.
For instance
, we have to eat nuts and proteins, and vitamins in our dairy. If we remove
meat
 and other
nutritions
, our body will be weak,
Therefore
, the
health
 problem due to majority problems
such
 as our
diet
, and our activities.
Furthermore
, some food experts and scientists have ideas about human's
health
 stem from some experimental data and empirical evidence.
For example
, they think our
health
 problems arise from past bad habits, and if we want to change them we should append some new
nutritions
Fix the agreement mistake
nutrition
show examples
such
 as
vegetables
 to our daily meals. To conclude
this
 essay, everyone might adopt a vegetarian
diet
 for himself or herself, but eating
meat
 is necessary for our body.
Submitted by poorzamani_zp on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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