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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

7.The pie charts compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.

7.The pie charts compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
The graphs illustrate the data about the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of using
water
Use synonyms
 from other countries namely
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
,
California
Use synonyms
, and the rest of the world. It is clear to see that in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 Country and
California
Use synonyms
, the percentage of using
water
Use synonyms
 from housing and industry
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the most, and the
proportion
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 of consuming
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
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agriculture
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
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 the least.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the rates of using
water
Use synonyms
 the highest around the world are
agriculture
Use synonyms
 and the lowest are
residential
Change preposition
in residential
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. The percentages of consuming
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
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housing in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 Country and
California
Use synonyms
 are 60% and 39%, respectively. The rates of using
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 industry and
Agriculture
Use synonyms
 in
California
Use synonyms
 are higher than in
San
Use synonyms
Diego
Use synonyms
 Country by 10% and 11%, respectively.
In
Change preposition
The
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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worldwide the
proportion
Use synonyms
 of consuming
water
Use synonyms
 from
agriculture
Use synonyms
 is the most at 69%,
then
Linking Words
that is
Linking Words
 the percentage of using
water
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
industry is at 23%, and the least
proportion
Use synonyms
 of consuming
water
Use synonyms
 is residential is 8%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words proportion, water, san, diego, california, agriculture with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 4 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • proportion
  • households
  • significant
  • industrial use
  • implications
  • agriculture
  • geographical
  • climatic
  • economic factors
  • patterns
  • sustainability
  • practices
  • surprising
  • exceptionally
  • improvements
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