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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#tables #information #sales #coffee #bananas #five #european #countries #summarise #features #comparisons
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A glance at the chart compared the
sales
Use synonyms
 of
two
Use synonyms
 agricultural products in five western countries between 1999 and 2004.
Overall
Linking Words
, the sale of
coffee
Use synonyms
 beans in the United Kingdom grew the most, but Sweden had the lowest.
In addition
Linking Words
,
bananas
Use synonyms
 had been popular in Switzerland,
while
Linking Words
 the sale in Denmark reduced.
According to
Linking Words
 the chart,
two
Use synonyms
 countries had decreasing situations in
bananas
Use synonyms
.
Conversely
Linking Words
, all of the
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in the given European countries climbed, and the highest one even reach thirteen times.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the selling of the provided products in British and Switzerland not only showed a positive increase but
also
Linking Words
 had been remained
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the top
two
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
coffee
Use synonyms
sales
Use synonyms
 in Denmark and Sweden
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
displayed the same growing proportion. As for
bananas
Use synonyms
, the sale data in these five places
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
fluctuated up and down, but no similar information. In summary, the
overall
Linking Words
sales
Use synonyms
 increase in
bananas
Use synonyms
 was more than in
coffee
Use synonyms
,
although
Linking Words
two
Use synonyms
 areas had
reducing
Wrong verb form
reduced
show examples
 data.
Submitted by cat861119 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, two, coffee, bananas with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade-labelled
  • sales figures
  • percentage increase/decrease
  • European countries
  • sales volume
  • notable trend
  • exponential growth
  • moderate rise
  • marked decline
  • comparative analysis
  • economic factors
  • consumer preferences
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