IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some students tend to travel after finishing school and spend time working somewhere instead of going to the university directly. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#students #travel #school #time #university #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Few students like to travel after finishing their schooling and show interest to do
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 jobs or internships to gain experience,
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
 going to universities directly. It totally depends upon the interest and repercussions of a person lifestyle, the essay future
discuss
Replace the word
discussion
show examples
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the merits and demerits.
Education
Use synonyms
 is important but knowledge doesn’t come only from
education
Use synonyms
.
A distinct
Correct the article-noun agreement
Distinct
show examples
 advantages are one can learn from their experiences , they can explore more compared to people who are bookworms considering ancient people without
minimum
Add an article
a minimum
show examples
 of schooling, they invented many things.
For example
Linking Words
, Thomas Edison got a late start in his schooling following an illness and
as a result
Linking Words
 his mind often wandered, prompting one of his teachers to call him addled. He dropped his schooling but invented a Bulb. Significantly,
a severe disadvantages
Correct the article-noun agreement
severe disadvantages
a severe disadvantage
show examples
 of not going to university directly may lead to long term
education
Use synonyms
 and there are pitfall consequences of lack of chance to getting certification on
particular
Add an article
a particular
the particular
show examples
 course.
For example
Linking Words
, there is a
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
business man
Correct your spelling
businessman
show examples
 known as
kantii
Correct your spelling
Kanti
dutt
Change the capitalization
Dutt
show examples
 who drop out
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
his higher
education
Use synonyms
, even though he succeeded in business with
ample
Correct article usage
an ample
show examples
 amount of profits, he is not having certification of MBA. I conclude that there are both merits as well as demerits, either going to university directly after schooling or working in someplace to gain required knowledge totally depends on their desire and interests. I suggest
to manage
Change the verb form
managing
show examples
 college and practical knowledge to attain all ways of profits.
Submitted by januvallabhaneni4918 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: