IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Investment in local amenities such as leisure centres is the best way for the government to foster a good community spirit. To what extent do you agree or disagree? What other measures do you think might be effective?

#investment #amenities #leisure #centres #government #community #spirit #measures
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A good community spirit can be generated in real life by immense efficient methods including investing in local facilities, like parks. From my perspective, I completely agree with
this
 statement since it will bring about a pleasing society in the country as well as I will offer other sensible measures of
this
 in the essay below. To commence with, constructing immense and imperative amenities in every city will be advantageous.
For instance
, if in the town there are sufficient facilities available for everyone
such
 as a swimming pool, public park, or library, people will be urged automatically to go or gather outside doing various activities there. When they come to these places, they have a tendency to meet new friends who share common interests or confer with other strange people.
This
 results in more harmony and trustworthiness among the citizens. Apart from these, there are still some other choices which can encourage them to interact with each other more and make a pleasant society.
First
 of all, offering public service works to the citizens is one of the most effective ways as it will induce them to undergo various works together.
Secondly
, due to the increase in factories and industries nowadays, the residential areas are intruded and demolished to construct those buildings
instead
.
This
 circumstance lessens the space of the household.
For example
, people these days live in an apartment or condominium making them less interacting with their neighbours.
Therefore
, the government should provide adequate houses for its population. To sum up, I coincide with the idea saying that a good community spirit can be built by not only investing in local facilities but
also
 proposing communal services and providing enough households. Doing like
this
 will conduce to a healthy society.
Submitted by aaatibet on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster
  • ammunities
  • leisure centre
  • sense of togetherness
  • boost the local economy
  • inclusive events
  • diverse range
  • instil a sense of pride
  • shared identity
  • accessibility and connectivity
  • public green spaces
  • community bonding
  • frequent community service projects
  • community-based educational programs
  • promotes physical health
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