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Band 5

The growth of online shopping will one day lead to all shops in town and cities closing . Do you agree or disagree ?

#growth #shops #town #cities
Nowadays,
internet
 shopping has increased drastically which in the future will result in the closure of shopping centres. While
people
 have now inculcated the habit of purchasing goods online with regard to buying in person, I strongly agree that
this
 new trend will automatically lead to the shutdown of
shops
 in the central business
areas
.
This
 essay will elaborate why in
time
 to come
shop
 owners would have no option but to close their businesses.
Firstly
, most
people
 now prefer to buy goods online because of the convenience as it saves
time
. Many
people
 now live in the rural
areas
 who have challenges to come to the urban
areas
 to get
food
Correct your spelling
foodstuffs
show examples
stuffs
Change the wording
stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
for instance
 due to traffic and access to transportation. With technology, they can
shop
 at their own pace at any online
shop
 with ease.
Also
, it is easier for someone to be having a coffee relaxed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 his/her sofa purchasing groceries without physically going to the place of sale. To illustrate, I got
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 dresses online weeks days ago for my
siblings
Change to a genitive case
sibling's
siblings'
show examples
 wedding even though I did not go there in person. Despite the fact that some will argue that the risk of shopping online is high
as a result
 of
internet
Add an article
an internet
show examples
 scam, most
people
 tend to engage in it which in years to come will put those doing business at the city centre out of
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
.
Also
, it has become habitual
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
people
 to procure products online
instead
 of going to the
shops
 in the cities.
This
 might be
as a result
 of cost.
People
 will spend less on gas to travel a long distance to secure things they are in
dare
Correct your spelling
dire
show examples
 need of.
Besides
 the quality which in most cases online shoppers worry about
yet
Add a comma
,yet
show examples
 they still choose to buy online. To exemplify, my cousin always complain that the grade of shoes delivered was of lesser quality
however
, she continues to get her stuff online. Notwithstanding the downsides of
internet
 buying,
people
 indulge in it rather than visiting the city
shops
 to get goods.
Moreover
,
this
 pattern of business will put
shop
 owners in the distant future to close. To summarise, in
time
 to come, businesses in the urban
areas
 will die down due to the increase in
internet
 shopping. In light of the above paragraphs, I agree with no iota of doubt that shopping online will take over
shops
 in town because it saves
time
 and resources.
Submitted by mannahevelyn30 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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